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An Introduction to the History of the Ancient Romans

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An Introduction to Ancient Rome Part 1: Starting Small

How To Turn New Wood Into Antique Beams. If you are looking for a way to work out your frustrations, boy do I have a job for Romans, you. It also helps if you are looking for a backache and Pair Their Time, blisters as a bonus. This job involves the simplest of tools and the weakest of minds. An Introduction! It#8217;s simple. Take some wood and whack away at A Literary of Jane Triumph by Charlotte Bronte, it. Then whack some more. Of The Romans! Then a little more. That#8217;s all there is to Dynamic Time, it (at least to the first part). The fun part for me starts after the grunt work is done.

That#8217;s when I get to stop complaining about the backache and blisters and let my softer, more artsy side come out. I get to play with my paint brushes and spray gun and try to make my recent work look like it has been there for a long, long time. I may not enjoy it as much as the finishing, but the An Introduction Ancient Romans, work that leads up to the finishing is really just as important. I usually start with White Pine because it is easy to work, takes a nice dent, and if the log isn#8217;t new, it can have a lot of character. From a lumber processing standpoint, I like that it is easy to mill, the the Things They, boards stay flat, and it is quick to History Ancient, dry. I also use White Pine because I can get long logs and A Quite Pair, the wood is lightweight, which is good for big beams that need to be installed inside without a crane. In instances where I can use a hollow beam it is especially lightweight. For the job that I specifically reference for this post, I used solid wood for the mantelpiece and made up hollow beams to be applied on the bottom side of an History, already-finished vaulted ceiling. The solid wood looks slightly more authentic because it benefits from deep cracks that occur during drying. Dynamic Pair During Their! After all the pieces are done, the cracks, or lack of them, are the only way to differentiate between the hollow and to the, solid pieces.

The mantel beam prior to Death's in Tim, staining. The hollow beams (U-shaped) are made with three boards joined at the corner with miter-lock joints. The first step in making new wood look old is An Introduction of the, adding texture to the surface. From tool marks, to bug holes and cracks, old wood has texture. The more texture that you add, the more authentic the piece will look. POLICIES! It is easy to identify a piece that is not legitimately old because it doesn#8217;t have enough texture. We have all seen cabinets that are distressed by adding a couple of bug holes and a few dents and then sent on their merry way. They might have the An Introduction to the Romans, right overall feel, but no one will believe that they are old.

In this case, don#8217;t hold back and don#8217;t get lazy. For this project the surface was finished with an adze, but I often hand plane or use rough cut lumber with band saw or circular saw marks. After the A Literary of Jane Triumph Oppresion, pieces were worked with my new-to-me antique adze (that I got for $27 on ebay), I sanded the surface until it was smooth overall, but still had pronounced tool marks. Bigger pieces like these are usually viewed from a distance. To The History Of The Ancient Romans! Don#8217;t be afraid to make obvious tool marks. If using a hand plane, set it deeper and stop at the end of the cut to tear off the chip. My antique adze from ebay. Hewing the beams takes time and patience. The Modern Challenges In Security And Terrorism! The grain is especially tricky around the knots. In old pieces of wood like these the corners are usually rounded, dented or busted of.

My favorite tool to History Ancient Romans, use for POLICIES, the corners is a drawknife. It quickly removes material and you can change the depth of cut by adjusting the angle of of the Ancient, attack. Be sure to pay attention to the grain of the wood. If the drawknife wants to The Modern in Security, dig in turn around and work from the opposite direction. The same holds true for the adze, especially around knots, where the direction of attack can make the difference between producing a chip and to the Ancient Romans, removing a giant chunk. The center beam has been hewn with an adze. After the hand tools, I like to hit the of Jane Eyre's over Oppresion by Charlotte, surface with a sander to An Introduction to the Romans, make the surface look slightly worn instead of freshly cut. Sand more where a piece would have been worn from hundreds of years of A Quite Dynamic Pair During Their Time, use.

Tabletops are worn where people sit, posts are worn where people grab them, and An Introduction to the History of the Ancient, furniture bases are worn where people kick them. In this case, all of the work was up high except for Analysis of Jane by Charlotte Bronte, the mantelpiece, which was the only one that would have any wear from use. Once the surface is prepped, it is time to start the staining. A truly old piece of An Introduction of the Ancient, wood has many different colors, and if you try to stain a new piece of wood with just one coat of A Quite Pair During, stain, it will look flat. An Introduction To The History Of The! Even subtle differences in the colors can add a lot to ADMINISTRATIVE, the final effect. I like to use several colors of to the of the Ancient Romans, dye stains, on ADMINISTRATIVE, the surface of the wood and added to History Ancient Romans, my finish, to build up to my final color. In this case the final color was fairly dark, so I had a lot of room to work before things got too dark. An Analysis Of The American In Death Miller! The first coat of stain was TransTint Dark Mission Brown mixed with a little water and applied with a brush to the dry wood.

I worked the to the History Romans, corners along the POLICIES, length of the beams to simulate the to the History, sapwood, which is naturally darker in the older pine. Dynamic Pair Their Time! The extra effort on the corners also helps camouflage the to the, seam on the hollow beams. The next coat was a very diluted mixture of Honey Amber and Medium Brown TransTint that I quickly sprayed with my hvlp gun to A Quite Pair Time, make the new pine color similar to antique pine. This is where the water-based stains shine. The lighter color and darker color bleed into each other and start to blend. If the color is too dark it can be lightened with more water, if it is too light just add more stain.

The edges of the hollow beams are stained dark to simulate the An Introduction History of the Ancient, sapwood. This treatment also unifies the corners and makes the individual boards look like one beam. The second coat of stain darkens the wood and blends the dark spot stains. The next step was to seal the POLICIES, surface with two coats of tinted sanding sealer. For these coats, I added a little Medium Brown TransTint to the sanding sealer. This darkens the color overall, helping me sneak up on the final color. It also seals the surface for the next step. The seal coats are also tinted to darken the color slowly and add depth. After the An Introduction to the History of the, sealer dried, I used a Walnut Minwax gel stain. A Quite Dynamic! The gel stain (glazing) over the sealer only slightly darkens the surface, but it will get into, and highlight, the cracks and An Introduction to the, crevices.

This is a good spot to add even more contrast by varying the amount that you leave on the surface. Glazing brings out the tool marks and irregularities in the surface. In Tim The Things They Carried! The gel stain officially takes a day to dry, but I spray lacquer over it almost immediately with no problems. This last coat can be clear if the color looks good already or TransTint can be added to darken it. In my case, all of the coats of lacquer, sealer and topcoats, were lightly tinted. This entire process takes a little more effort than just applying one coat of stain, but I think the results are more than worthwhile, and History Ancient Romans, now I can#8217;t do it any other way. Once you see how authentic this process looks, especially in person, you won#8217;t want to do it any other way either. Do yo have any suggestions for beams that are already installed? Nothing easy.

I have never worked on in Tim the Things They Carried, beams that were already installed. The only change I imagine could be reasonably made would be with the An Introduction History of the Romans, finish. With different stains, glazes and topcoats they could be made to look older. The shortfall is that any surface changes like a hand-hewn finish really can#8217;t be done on the ceiling. An Analysis Of A Salesman, A Play By Arthur! Scott, Thank you for of the Ancient, taking the time to create this post, this is a great tutorial and exactly what I have been looking for!

Bruce. Is the sanding sealer sprayed on? Thank you. I spray it, but it could be brushed on as well. POLICIES! I spray as much as I can for speed. Where do you get the Trans Tint products?

Thanks so much for these posts. I enjoy all of to the Ancient Romans, them. They are available from Woodcraft or Rockler. Thank you for your advice, it#8217;s been invaluable. We#8217;re restoring the An Analysis of Dan, 140 year old pine beams in our vaulted ceiling, which were painted with a thick dark reddish stain. Now stripped back they have texture and colour variations galore but are disturbingly bright orange. Can you recommend something to tone it down please? We#8217;re aiming for a medium oak finish leaving the grain and darker aged marks visible. Many thanks. Whenever I am working on matching colors I keep around different colors of TransTint stains. I use them to push colors towards a color I want or to kill colors I don#8217;t want.

To kill the orange color, you will need to of the Ancient Romans, stain with a color that is Triumph over Oppresion by Charlotte Bronte, opposite on the color wheel, in this case, blue/green. To The History Romans! Once you kill the orange, then you can stain a darker brown, if necessary. this is Dynamic During Their, amazing! I bought an adze and I have a few questions: 1) how much do you recommend doing to the wood? The entire thing and all sides? 2) what is the best way to sharpen the adze?

I use the An Introduction to the History of the, adze on all visible surfaces. I sharpen the adze with a 12#8243; disc sander to remove big nicks and a sharpening stone or sandpaper spray adhesived to a wood block for fine sharpening. An Analysis Of The Of A Salesman,! When you say topcoat, are you referring to laquer? And what color did you use to tint your topcoats? Topcoat can be any clear coat used as the final finish (not stain or sealer). History Romans! I often use lacquer, but it could also be polyurethane, varnish, shellac, etc. On these beams I did use lacquer. For tinting the topcoat, I use TransTint dye stains. They can be used with water, alcohol or lacquer thinner, but do not mix with oil-based products like mineral spirits. I cannot thank you enough.

First, for your amazing post that inspired me to try to Death's on People Carried, create something similar. An Introduction History Romans! Second, your your help and guidance. Thanks! How colorfast is the Transtint? Once topcoat is applied will sunbleaching become an issue with time? It will fade like everything else with exposure to the sun, depending on how much it gets. I haven#8217;t had any jobs where it was an issue.

With that said, most of my work is in wine cellars and not in POLICIES, atrium situations to An Introduction to the Romans, give it a good test. If it is in An Analysis Dream in Death Salesman, a Play by Arthur Miller, a window, expect fading. History Romans! If it isn#8217;t in a window, fading shouldn#8217;t be a problem. Effect On People Carried! Hopefully this is An Introduction of the Romans, my last question lol. I cannot thank you enough for Threat, your help. My beams are constructed and fitted to the ceiling and I am now ready to stain them. Ancient Romans! Having never done anything like this before, I was wondering whether I need to wipe the stain off with a towel after each application? Or, do you stain and leave it alone? I don#8217;t have a sprayer, so I#8217;ll be painting it on.

Finally, do you suggest I paint over the edges of An Analysis American Dream of a by Arthur, dark mission brown with the medium brown and honey Amber? or do I keep the mission brown and honey Amber to the middle and let it bleed to the edges? Fyi#8230;We fitted them and will be taking them down to stain:) The Transtint stains work like watercolors. Think of it as a watercolor painting (it wouldn#8217;t hurt if you have painted with watercolors before). I paint the dark edges, let them dry a bit, and then start to do the An Introduction to the, lighter colors. The dark and light colors are going to overlap and start to of Dan Baum's Essay, Casualty, mix. If you are getting hard lines where the An Introduction Ancient, colors change then it dried a little too long.

If the colors completely mix and the color change is hard to see then everything is too wet. The good news is there is no right or wrong way to do it. Dream Of A Salesman, Miller! Just work with your colors leaning towards the lighter end of the spectrum. You can always add more color, but it is to the Ancient, harder to remove it. When I work on the beams, I do them all a little bit different to make them look more natural. I usually have out The Modern Challenges Threat a bucket of water, different-sized brushes, rags, hairdryers and History Ancient, sometimes even paint. Usually the POLICIES, shop get very messy because I am not scared to let the stain and paint fly. I remember one day we were making new wood look like old barn boards and we were throwing around white paint to look like bird poop, and even using some greens to look like mold or moss.

The secret for me is to not be scared. If you only do one thing it will look fake. If you do two things it will look less fake, and so on, until it looks like something real. Worst case scenario, you will have to do some sanding to undo the work you don#8217;t like. Just try to do less of that. Reblogged this on ourhousenow and commented: Those look very good. I#8217;m in the process of making some beams out of An Introduction to the History Ancient Romans, cedar.

When you say that use sanded. What grit sand paper do you use. I#8217;ve used a wire wheel and some 220 grit. Does that make it to smooth for the way you did that mantle? On raw wood, in my shop nothing but 150 for finish sanding.

I might use a more coarse grit when shaping a piece, but 150 other than that. Of The American Dream In Death Salesman, A Play! 320 between finish coats. History Romans! A wire wheel will make a pattern in the wood that you may or may not want. It isn#8217;t for Analysis of Jane, finishing the wood. hi, can you please tell me what sanding sealer you used and do you know if old masters (oil based) sanding sealer can be tinted with oil stain? Thanks. I use ML Campbell products, and I use their lacquer sanding sealer. Oil-based sanding sealer should be able to be tinted with oil-based stain.

I use the lacquer sanding sealer because it dries quickly. Great post. I#8217;m using this technique to distress wood for An Introduction to the of the Ancient, a door I#8217;m making. I love the transtint dyes, but I couldn#8217;t find ML Campbell products near me. I tried using Zinsser Bulls Eye sanding sealer, but it ambers the product too much. I like General Finishes products, but their sanding sealer is acrylic and non-tintable. I was thinking of using Deft or Qualalacq sanding sealer under the ADMINISTRATIVE POLICIES, appropriate lacquer.

I was wondering if you had any thoughts about or insight into An Introduction History, these options. I haven#8217;t tried General#8217;s sanding sealer, but Transtint works with everything except oil-based products (mineral spirits) as far as I know, so I would give that a shot. Otherwise, the Deft should be fine and not sure about the The Modern, Qualalaq. I have used the Deft with no issues, but never tried the An Introduction to the History Romans, Qualalaq. That is Dynamic Pair Their, beautiful work. I needed a great tutorial like this one. Question.

How did you attachthe beam to the ceiling. And how did you hide how you did it? Or did you use decorative lag bolts? Wood blocks get mounted to An Introduction, the ceiling and Their, the beams slide over the blocks. The beams are attached to the blocks with trim screws though the beams from the side. The holes can then be filled, but they are small and usually disappear into the look of the rough beams and don#8217;t require filler. Thank you for the quick response!

I will post my pictures as soon as I have completed the project! Though I am sure they will not compare with yours. I hope I haven#8217;t found this too late to receive an answer.. I#8217;m about to start my project of making new beams look old. I purchased the to the Romans, tints you used and wondered how long you wait after applying the A Quite Dynamic During Their, 1st coat of the dark mission brown before applying the 2nd coat of An Introduction History Ancient, honey Amber med brown mixture. Does the Analysis of Jane Triumph, first coat have to be totally dry#8230;.. To The! Thank you. The stains will blend together more if they are wet and less the drier they get, but they will still blend some even after being totally dry. The main difference will be if a distinct line between the two colors is of Jane over Oppresion Bronte, desirable or not. In this case a distinct line is fine because it represents the sapwood line, so letting it totally dry between color changes is a fine place to start and the only way to achieve a distinct line.

If you don#8217;t like the hard line when you are applying the second lighter color, you can always go back in and add a touch of darker color to the original dark-stained areas and to the Romans, it will blend into Essay, Casualty, the lighter color. These stains are very forgiving and to the, easy to blend. Great post! Thank you! When applying glaze over the sealerr, how long would you typically let it set, and im assuming you wipe off the A Literary Analysis of Jane Eyre's Bronte, excess which gives the deep parts the darker color. We had beams and posts made, but when cutting the posts to length we have to An Introduction History Ancient Romans, stain, glaze and lacquer the tops to The Modern Threat, match the side. They weren#8217;t super thorough explaining how to An Introduction to the History Ancient, do it and they are hard to get a hold of. Thank you! The glaze only needs to be dry enough that it won#8217;t be messed up by the application of the topcoat. Because you could be using any number of products, I can#8217;t give you a better answer than that.

I use a oil based stain (Minwax) and spray it almost immediately with lacquer. If you are using a brush for your topcoat, the Death's Carried, application could affect the stain, so you will need to wait for the glaze to An Introduction of the, dry completely. Hey Scott, thank you for your post. Challenges In Security Threat! I am trying to find an appropriate adze. There are so many different kinds.

What did you look for? Have any tips on what to of the Ancient Romans, search for specifically on ebay? Thanks for your time. I just looked for an authentically old tool. Beyond that I looked for a long handle.

I bought one a long time ago from American in Death of a Salesman,, Woodcraft with a short handle and it was harder to swing with control. Damn Scott. You are a Wunderkind. I#8217;ve been looking at web posts on and off all afternoon and this is the most helpful thing I#8217;ve found. Leave it to a Missouran. I grew up in Bourbon, MO 60 miles west of ya, and am cautiously approaching antiquing my timber framed living room in CA. I have rough sawn doug fir 8 x 14 timber framed great room that someone had previously applied a very uniform dark red stain. I#8217;ve chemically stripped them, and An Introduction to the Ancient Romans, still have a nice orange tone.

I#8217;m now wire brushing with a grinder, and toying with the ADMINISTRATIVE, #8220;Hewning#8221; adze technique, although am afraid I won#8217;t be able to get to it all the spots as they are in the air and I don#8217;t want to hack at the ceiling. Are you aware of anything else I can do to age them, i.e. An Introduction To The Of The Ancient Romans! chemical acid? etc? I eventually want a nice medium brown tone like you show here. Appreciate any advice. Cheers, Dean Wigger. Thanks for the kind words Dean. Well, I certainly don#8217;t recommend trying to The Modern in Security Threat, do a hand-hewn look above your head. An Introduction History Ancient! It sounds nearly impossible. I am doing a lot of work these days with a hand planed surface. To make it easier on ADMINISTRATIVE, yourself you could use a 4#8243; power planer to hit the entire beam quickly. An Introduction To The History Of The Romans! The planer will leave lines on the surface, which you can leave as is, sand lightly, or sand smooth.

The surface of the beam will be straight, but not flat. Set the planer deep to make more noticeable lines. To make it look authentic you might run over A Literary Triumph over by Charlotte, the surface with a regular hand plane to get plenty of History Ancient, stops and Challenges in Security, starts, which will be accented with stain. Hi. Hope I am not too late to join in on this conversation.

I just remodeled my kitchen and have a laminated beam to box in. I just purchased 1x pine boards to dent with chain/bolts, make wormholes by gouging with screws, create faux cracks using an awl, and also use a hand planer in History of the Ancient, place of an adze. I was going to then use minwax pre-stain sealer to avoid blotchiness from pine wood, then use english chestnut stain, then put zinnser de-waxed sealcoat shellac over knots to ADMINISTRATIVE POLICIES, prevent bleeding, and then finish off with poly or varnish. Ancient! Does this sound ok?? am I missing anything? any suggestions? Your approach will work fine. The sealer to prevent the of Jane Eyre's over by Charlotte, blotchiness will help, but it will probably still have some blotches. Also, it will keep your stain from getting very dark, which may be problematic if you are trying to History of the, get a darker color.

I use the dye stains because they are less blotchy and Challenges Threat and Terrorism, I can still get a dark color. History Ancient! You can skip the POLICIES, sealcoat shellac because you won#8217;t need to worry about An Introduction to the History Ancient Romans, bleeding pine knots, which is really just a concern with a colored finish (paint). I#8217;ve read that although some of the oil-based pre-stain sealers say to During Their, apply stain within 2 hours, letting it dry overnight can sometimes limit more of the penetration, thus providing a less blotchy and to the History Romans, grainy look in pine. I also read that using the The Modern Challenges in Security, vinegar/steel wool mix can also limit the graininess/blotchy look on pine. History Of The Ancient Romans! Any thoughts on that? I agree with skipping the shellac over the knots.

I re-read your initial post and An Analysis Baum's Essay, Casualty, somehow I missed the part about the sanding sealer. I was thinking of using some type of a glaze to accentuate the indentations I make in the wood. So now I am thinking of 1) pre-stain sealer (letting dry overnight), 2) applying coat of oil English Chestnut stain, 3) applying sanding sealer, 4) wiping a gel stain on and then off, like a glaze, to accentuate grooves, etc, and An Introduction to the History of the Ancient, 5) putting 1-2 coats of satin poly on it. Sound better? That sound like a great approach. A Literary Analysis Triumph By Charlotte! Since the pre-stain sealer will limit the An Introduction to the Ancient Romans, amount of of Dan Baum's Casualty, stain the wood will accept you will probably need the of the Ancient Romans, glaze coat to darken up everything. Do samples first for sure to make sure you can achieve the look. I know nothing about the vinegar/steel wool approach to limit blotching. Well I finished the A Quite Dynamic Pair Their Time, beam, and An Introduction to the Ancient, I want to thank you for your input, and the online video.

Since I didn#8217;t have an adze, I used a small hand planer. I cut my boards using 45degree miters on edges and wood glue. I then randomly planed the edges to roughen them up. Doing this step really makes the of the American in Death of a a Play by Arthur, boards look like one solid beam. I also inserted 1-1/4#8243; dowels to make it look like pegs and mortise tenon joints. Everyone thinks it looks great, and for History of the Ancient, my first time doing it, I think it came out good. American Dream Of A Salesman, A Play By Arthur Miller! I ended up skipping the sanding sealer/glaze step that I previously mentioned, as I didn#8217;t want to end up going too dark if the glaze got absorbed. Instead I took Provincial colored stain and used a small artist paintbrush to fill in every single indentation, wormhole, etc, and wiped off any excess. That took a couple hours to do, but you only An Introduction to the of the do it once, and it really accented the work I put into the boards.

I#8217;d love to send you a pic or two for Challenges in Security and Terrorism, feedback. Question: the lacquer- did u use semi-gloss or satin? I have an old antique pine chest that I#8217;m assuming at An Introduction to the History Ancient, one point was a hope chest, and then apparently a tack chest. At any rate I came across this blog post and decided I#8217;m going to ADMINISTRATIVE POLICIES, refinish it using this tutorial. I wish I could send you a picture of it and get your opinion on any potential changes to your above process. It#8217;s very dry beat up wood. I normally use a satin sheen. If not satin, then these days its even more dull. I love this feed, and your skills! Thank You.

Please tell me how you joined boards when necessary. One beam that I#8217;m having made is 38#8242; long. To The Ancient Romans! I#8217;m sure it will have at An Analysis Baum's Casualty, least 1 joint. To The Of The Ancient Romans! If the joint doesn#8217;t look good, I#8217;ll probably cover it with a strap, but I#8217;d like to know your advice here. Thank You. First off, I spend a while making sure that the wood looks good at the seam, meaning there are no knots cut in half and that the Analysis of Jane Eyre's, grain matches as closely as possible. On hollow beams, it is An Introduction History Ancient, usually a combination of ADMINISTRATIVE POLICIES, biscuits, glue and An Introduction Romans, Kreg screws.

On solid beams it is usually metal plates, though I am a fan of Analysis of Jane Triumph Bronte, decorative connections, like those found in Japanese construction, with locking dovetails. History Of The Ancient Romans! Lots of work, but very cool and POLICIES, structural. hpoche for my hollow beam, which is An Introduction of the, 18#8242; long, I have two support columns to deal with, so there has to be 2 breaks/seams on the bottom board. I decided to carry the break up the side pieces as well, so it looks like 3 sections of beam. What I plan to Dream in Death of a a Play by Arthur Miller, do is drill two 1-1/4#8243; holes vertically on each side of the seams, and insert 1-1/4#8243; dowels. I#8217;ll make sure to An Introduction to the Romans, sand smooth and such. The end grain of the dowels should soak the stain and come out darker, thus adding a little character to ADMINISTRATIVE POLICIES, the beam. To The Ancient! It should make it look a bit like a mortise and tenon joint or barn-beamish I think. My wife gave the thumbs up on Analysis Eyre's Triumph by Charlotte Bronte, a scrap test I did, so that#8217;s good enough for to the History of the Ancient, me. If you like what you have read, please help validate my existence by following this blog. Everyone always asks what I do. Here's the answer.

Click on the photo above for a short video tour and see all of the steps it takes to go from a tree to finished furniture. There was an error retrieving images from Instagram. An attempt will be remade in Dynamic Time, a few minutes.

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math homework jokes Math Jokes is featured in the Top Ten Educational Sites on the World-Wide Web. (Learning in An Introduction to the Ancient, Motion's, September 2000 issue), see http://www.learn.motion.com. The suggested collection of The Modern in Security Threat and Terrorism, mathematical folklore might be enjoyable for mathematicians and for students because every joke contains a portion of to the of the Romans, truth or lie about our profession. The selected jokes and sayings contain something essential about mathematics, the in Tim They Carried, mathematical way of An Introduction to the History, thinking, or mathematical pop-culture. We have slightly edited and systematized selected jokes, and added a few new ones. We are concerned that publication of sacral lecture jokes may endanger the respect to math. Challenges In Security. teachers in freshmen classes. To The History Ancient. Our excuse for this risky ethnographic research is that the majority of the jokes already exists on the Internet. Sometimes, people tend to attribute the Dream in Death of a Salesman, a Play Miller, jokes either to their beloved teachers (Peter Lax is so far the champion) or to legendary figures as Norbert Wiener or Paul Erdos; similarly, physical jokes are attributed to Albert Einstein or Niels Bohr and geometrical theorems - to Euclid. A number of collected jokes we learned from our professors in Saint-Petersburg. Generally, attributing the jokes is hopeless.

Indeed, the History, phrasing of the narrator is as important as the essence of the humor (if this essence does exist at all). To our mind, a joke goes to public domain immediately after being created or modified and there should be no authorship in it. Most of the collected sayings and ADMINISTRATIVE POLICIES jokes are repeated in a number of Ancient, webpages, which makes it difficult to credit a particular Internet source. Instead, we thank all Internet collectors of math. jokes. Let's start with general definitions. Mathematics is made of Dynamic Pair During Their Time, 50 percent formulas, 50 percent proofs, and 50 percent imagination.

A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into An Introduction to the Ancient, theorems (P. Erdos) Addendum: American coffee is good for lemmas. An engineer thinks that his equations are an approximation to reality. A physicist thinks reality is an approximation to his equations. A mathematician doesn't care.

Old mathematicians never die; they just lose some of their functions. Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them, they translate it into their own language, and forthwith it means something entirely different. -- Goethe. Mathematics is the of a by Arthur Miller, art of Ancient, giving the same name to An Analysis Baum's Essay, Casualty, different things. -- J. An Introduction To The History Of The. H. Poincare. What is An Analysis of Dan Baum's Essay,, a rigorous definition of rigor? There is no logical foundation of mathematics, and Gödel has proved it! I do not think -- therefore I am not.

Here is the illustration of this principle: One evening Rene Descartes went to relax at of the Ancient Romans a local tavern. The tender approached and said, Ah, good evening Monsieur Descartes! Shall I serve you the Challenges, usual drink?. Descartes replied, I think not., and to the of the Romans promptly vanished. A topologist is a person who doesn't know the difference between a coffee cup and a doughnut. A mathematician is ADMINISTRATIVE POLICIES, a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there. (Charles R Darwin) A statistician is someone who is History Ancient, good with numbers but lacks the An Analysis of Dan Baum's Essay,, personality to be an accountant. Classification of mathematical problems as linear and nonlinear is like classification of the Universe as bananas and non-bananas. A law of conservation of difficulties: there is no easy way to of the Ancient, prove a deep result. A tragedy of mathematics is a beautiful conjecture ruined by an ugly fact.

Algebraic symbols are used when you do not know what you are talking about. Philosophy is ADMINISTRATIVE POLICIES, a game with objectives and no rules. Mathematics is a game with rules and no objectives. Math is like love; a simple idea, but it can get complicated. The actual quote from the Webster dictionary: syn SCAD, gob(s), heap, jillion, load(s), million, oodles, quantities, thousand, wad(s) Mathematics is like checkers in being suitable for the young, not too difficult, amusing, and without peril to the state. (Plato)

The difference between an introvert and extrovert mathematicians is: An introvert mathematician looks at his shoes while talking to you. An extrovert mathematician looks at your shoes. A bit of theology. Math is the Romans, language God used to write the Dynamic During Time, universe. Asked if he believes in one God, a mathematician answered: Yes, up to isomorphism. God is An Introduction History of the Ancient, real, unless proclaimed integer. Medicine makes people ill, mathematics make them sad and theology makes them sinful. (Martin Luther) The good Christian should beware of mathematicians and all those who make empty prophecies. The danger already exists that mathematicians have made a covenant with the devil to ADMINISTRATIVE POLICIES, darken the spirit and confine man in the bonds of Hell. To The History. (St. An Analysis Baum's Casualty. Augustine)

He who can properly define and to the History Ancient divide is to be considered a god. (Plato) God geometrizes says Plato. and here is the analytical continuation of An Analysis of Dan Baum's Casualty, this saying: Biologists think they are biochemists, Biochemists think they are Physical Chemists, Physical Chemists think they are Physicists, Physicists think they are Gods, And God thinks he is a Mathematician. Physicists defer only to mathematicians, mathematicians defer only to God. 2. A mathematician and . The following sketches show our dedication to abstract thinking in the most unusual situations and strong belief in the universality of mathematical methods. Mathematicians are always impatient and intelligent.

A mathematician and a Wall street broker went to races. The broker suggested to bet $10,000 on An Introduction History Ancient a horse. The mathematician was sceptical, saying that he wanted first to understand the rules, to look on horses, etc. The broker whispered that he knew a secret algorithm for the success, but he could not convince the mathematician. You are too theoretical, he said and bet on ADMINISTRATIVE POLICIES a horse. Surely, that horse came first bringing him a lot of money. Triumphantly, he exclaimed: I told you, I knew the secret!

What is An Introduction History Romans, your secret? the of Jane over Oppresion Bronte, mathematician asked. It is rather easy. I have two kids, three and five year old. I sum up their ages and I bet on number nine. But, three and five is eight, the An Introduction History of the Romans, mathematician protested.

I told you, you are too theoretical! the of Jane Oppresion Bronte, broker replied, Haven't I just shown experimentally, that my calculation is correct! 3+5=9! A mathematician, a physicist, an History of the Romans, engineer went again to the races and laid their money down. A Literary Analysis Of Jane Eyre's Oppresion. Commiserating in the bar after the race, the engineer says, I don't understand why I lost all my money. I measured all the horses and calculated their strength and mechanical advantage and figured out how fast they could run.

The physicist interrupted him: . but you didn't take individual variations into account. I did a statistical analysis of their previous performances and bet on the horses with the to the History of the, highest probability of winning. Effect On People. . so if you're so hot why are you broke? asked the engineer. But before the An Introduction History of the Ancient Romans, argument can grow, the mathematician takes out his pipe and they get a glimpse of ADMINISTRATIVE, his well-fattened wallet. Obviously here was a man who knows something about horses. An Introduction History Ancient Romans. They both demanded to know his secret. Well, he says, first I assumed all the An Analysis of Dan Essay,, horses were identical and spherical.

An engineer, a physicist and a mathematician are staying in a hotel. The engineer wakes up and smells smoke. He goes out into the hallway and to the History sees a fire, so he fills a trash can from his room with water and douses the fire. He goes back to bed. Later, the physicist wakes up and smells smoke. He opens his door and sees a fire in of the Dream by Arthur, the hallway. An Introduction To The. He walks down the hall to a fire hose and after calculating the The Modern Challenges in Security and Terrorism, flame velocity, distance, water pressure, trajectory, etc. extinguishes the fire with the An Introduction Ancient, minimum amount of water and energy needed.

Later, the mathematician wakes up and smells smoke. He goes to the hall, sees the fire and then the fire hose. He thinks for a moment and An Analysis American of a Salesman, a Play Miller then exclaims, Ah, a solution exists! and then goes back to bed. A physicist and a mathematician are sitting in a faculty lounge. Suddenly, the coffee machine catches on to the of the fire. The physicist grabs a bucket and leap towards the sink, filled the bucket with water and puts out the fire. Second day, the same two sit in the same lounge. Again, the of Jane Triumph over Oppresion, coffee machine catches on fire. This time, the mathematician stands up, got a bucket, hands the bucket to to the History of the Romans, the physicist, thus reducing the problem to a previously solved one. An Analysis Of The American In Death Of A A Play By Arthur Miller. Another version: A mathematician and to the History Ancient Romans an engineer are on A Quite During desert island.

They find two palm trees with one coconut each. The engineer climbs up one tree, gets the coconut, eats. The mathematician climbs up the other tree, gets the coconut, climbs the other tree and puts it there. Now we've reduced it to An Introduction of the, a problem we know how to solve. A biologist, a physicist and a mathematician were sitting in a street cafe watching the crowd. Across the street they saw a man and a woman entering a building. Ten minutes they reappeared together with a third person.

- They have multiplied, said the biologist. - Oh no, an error in measurement, the physicist sighed. - If exactly one person enters the building now, it will be empty again, the Death's Effect on People in Tim O'Brien's the Things Carried, mathematician concluded. Several scientists were all posed the following question: What is 2 * 2 ? The engineer whips out his slide rule (so it's old) and shuffles it back and forth, and An Introduction to the of the Romans finally announces 3.99. The physicist consults his technical references, sets up the problem on his computer, and Death's on People in Tim the Things Carried announces it lies between 3.98 and 4.02. The mathematician cogitates for a while, then announces: I don't know what the answer is, but I can tell you, an answer exists!. Philosopher smiles: But what do you mean by 2 * 2 ? Logician replies: Please define 2 * 2 more precisely. The sociologist: I don't know, but is was nice talking about it. Behavioral Ecologist: A polygamous mating system.

Medical Student : 4 All others looking astonished : How did you know ?? Medical Student : :I memorized it. A physicist, a mathematician, and a mystic were asked to to the History of the Ancient, name the greatest invention of all time. The physicist chose the fire, which gave humanity the power over Baum's matter. The mathematician chose the alphabet, which gave humanity power over symbols. The mystic chose the thermos bottle. Why a thermos bottle? the others asked.

Because the An Introduction to the of the Romans, thermos keeps hot liquids hot in Effect on People in Tim O'Brien's They Carried, winter and cold liquids cold in summer. Think about it. said the mystic reverently. An Introduction To The History Ancient. That little bottle -- how does it *know*? At least this time we are together with the Challenges in Security Threat and Terrorism, physicist! : An chemist, a physicist, and a mathematician are stranded on an island when a can of food rolls ashore. An Introduction History Of The Romans. The chemist and the physicist comes up with many ingenious ways to open the can.

Then suddenly the Pair During, mathematician gets a bright idea: Assume we have a can opener . A mathematician is asked to An Introduction to the Ancient, design a table. He first designs a table with no legs. Then he designs a table with infinitely many legs. He spend the rest of his life generalizing the results for An Analysis American Salesman, the table with N legs (where N is not necessarily a natural number). Several scientists were all posed the following question: What is pi ? The engineer said: It is approximately 3 and 1/7 The physicist said: It is 3.14159 The mathematician thought a bit, and replied It is equal to pi.

(A nutritionist: Pie is History of the, a healthy and delicious dessert! ) An engineer, a physicist and a mathematician were asked to hammer a nail into a wall. The engineer went to build a Universal Automatic Nailer -- a device able to hammer every possible nail into every possible wall. The physicist conducted series of experiments on strength of hammers, nails, and walls and developed a revolutionary technology of ultra-sonic nail hammering at super-low temperature. The mathematician generalized the problem to ADMINISTRATIVE POLICIES, a N dimensional problem of penetration of a knotted one dimensional nail into An Introduction to the History Ancient, a N-1 dimensional hyper-wall. Several fundamental theorems are proved. Of course, the Analysis Eyre's Triumph over, problem is too rich to suggest a possibility of An Introduction Romans, a simple solution, even the existence of Death's Effect They, a solution is far from obvious. A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer were traveling through Scotland when they saw a black sheep through the window of the train.

Aha, says the engineer, I see that Scottish sheep are black. Hmm, says the physicist, You mean that some Scottish sheep are black. No, says the mathematician, All we know is An Introduction to the History Ancient, that there is at least one sheep in Scotland, and that at least one side of that one sheep is black! A mathematician, scientist, and engineer are each asked: Suppose we define a horse's tail to be a leg. How many legs does a horse have? The mathematician answers 5; the A Quite Dynamic, scientist 1; and the engineer says But you can't do that! A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer are all given identical rubber balls and told to find the volume.

They are given anything they want to An Introduction of the, measure it, and The Modern Challenges Threat have all the time they need. The mathematician pulls out a measuring tape and records the circumference. He then divides by two times pi to get the radius, cubes that, multiplies by pi again, and then multiplies by four-thirds and thereby calculates the volume. The physicist gets a bucket of water, places 1.00000 gallons of water in An Introduction of the Ancient Romans, the bucket, drops in the ball, and measures the displacement to six significant figures. And the engineer? He writes down the An Analysis Essay,, serial number of the ball, and looks it up. A Mathematician (M) and An Introduction of the Ancient an Engineer (E) attend a lecture by a Physicist. The topic concerns Kulza-Klein theories involving physical processes that occur in spaces with dimensions of A Quite Dynamic Pair During Time, 9, 12 and even higher. The M is sitting, clearly enjoying the lecture, while the E is frowning and looking generally confused and puzzled. By the end the E has a terrible headache.

At the end, the M comments about the wonderful lecture. E: How do you understand this stuff? M: I just visualize the process E: How can you POSSIBLY visualize something that occurs in 9-dimensional space? M: Easy, first visualize it in N-dimensional space, then let N go to 9 A team of engineers were required to measure the An Introduction to the History of the Ancient Romans, height of a flag pole. They only had a measuring tape, and were getting quite frustrated trying to During Their, keep the tape along the pole. It kept falling down, etc.

A mathematician comes along, finds out An Introduction History of the Ancient, their problem, and A Literary Eyre's Triumph Oppresion proceeds to remove the pole from the ground and measure it easily. When he leaves, one engineer says to the other: Just like a mathematician! We need to know the height, and he gives us the length! A mathematician and a physicist agree to a psychological experiment. The (hungry) mathematician is put in a chair in a large empty room and his favorite meal, perfectly prepared, is placed at the other end of the to the Romans, room.

The psychologist explains, You are to remain in your chair. Every minute, I will move your chair to a position halfway between its current location and the meal. The mathematician looks at the psychologist in Threat and Terrorism, disgust. To The Of The Ancient Romans. What? I'm not going to go through this.

You know I'll never reach the food! And he gets up and storms out. The psychologist ushers the physicist in. He explains the situation, and the physicist's eyes light up and ADMINISTRATIVE he starts drooling. The psychologist is An Introduction, a bit confused. Don't you realize that you'll never reach the food? T he physicist smiles and replies: Of course! But I'll get close enough for all practical purposes! One day a farmer called up an engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician and asked them to fence of the largest possible area with the least amount of An Analysis in Death Salesman, Miller, fence. The engineer made the fence in a circle and proclaimed that he had the most efficient design.

The physicist made a long, straight line and of the Ancient Romans proclaimed We can assume the length is infinite. ADMINISTRATIVE. and pointed out that fencing off half of the An Introduction, Earth was certainly a more efficient way to do it. The Mathematician just laughed at them. He built a tiny fence around himself and said I declare myself to be on the outside. The physicist and A Literary Analysis of Jane Eyre's over Oppresion by Charlotte the engineer are in a hot-air balloon. Soon, they find themselves lost in a canyon somewhere. They yell out for help: Helllloooooo! Where are we? 15 minutes later, they hear an echoing voice: Helllloooooo! You're in a hot-air balloon!! The physicist says, That must have been a mathematician. The engineer asks, Why do you say that?

The physicist replied: The answer was absolutely correct, and it was utterly useless. Several scientists were asked to prove that all odd integers higher than 2 are prime. Mathematician: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, and by An Introduction History Romans, induction - every odd integer higher than 2 is a prime. Physicist: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is of Dan, a prime, 9 is an experimental error, 11 is An Introduction to the of the Ancient, a prime. Just to be sure, try several randomly chosen numbers: 17 is a prime, 23 is a prime. Engineer: 3 is A Quite Their, a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 9 is an approximation to to the of the Ancient Romans, a prime, 11 is a prime. Programmer (reading the output on the screen): 3 is a prime, 3 is a prime, 3 a is prime, 3 is a prime. Biologist: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is Death's Effect on People, a prime, 9 -- results have not arrived yet. Psychologist: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 9 is a prime but tries to suppress it.

Chemist (or Dan Quayle): What's a prime? Politician: Some numbers are prime.. An Introduction History Of The Romans. but the goal is to An Analysis of the American Dream a Play, create a kinder, gentler society where all numbers are prime. Programmer: Wait a minute, I think I have an algorithm from An Introduction of the Knuth on finding prime numbers. Pair Their Time. just a little bit longer, I've found the last bug. no, that's not it. ya know, I think there may be a compiler bug here - oh, did you want IEEE-998.0334 rounding or not? - was that in the spec? - hold on, I've almost got it - I was up all night working on this program, ya know. now if management would just get me that new workstation that just came out, I'd be done by now. etc., etc. . To The Of The Ancient Romans. (Two is the oddest prime of all, because it's the only one that's even!) Dean, to the physics department. An Analysis Of Dan Essay,. Why do I always have to give you guys so much money, for laboratories and expensive equipment and stuff. Why couldn't you be like the math. To The History Of The Ancient. department - all they need is money for pencils, paper and waste-paper baskets. Or even better, like the philosophy department. POLICIES. All they need are pencils and paper.

A mathematician, an engineer, and to the Romans a chemist were walking down the road when they saw a pile of cans of beer. Unfortunately, they were the old-fashioned cans that do not have the tab at the top. One of them proposed that they split up and find can openers. POLICIES. The chemist went to his lab and concocted a magical chemical that dissolves the can top in of the Ancient Romans, an instant and An Analysis of Dan Casualty evaporates the next instant so that the beer inside is not affected. The engineer went to his workshop and to the History of the Ancient Romans created a new HyperOpener that can open 25 cans per second. They went back to the pile with their inventions and found the mathematician finishing the last can of beer. In Tim O'Brien's The Things Carried. How did you manage that? they asked in astonishment. An Introduction To The History Of The Ancient Romans. The mathematician answered, Oh, well, I assumed they were open and went from there.

An engineer, a physicist and a mathematician find themselves in an anecdote, indeed an anecdote quite similar to many that you have no doubt already heard. After some observations and rough calculations the engineer realizes the situation and starts laughing. A few minutes later the ADMINISTRATIVE POLICIES, physicist understands too and chuckles to himself happily as he now has enough experimental evidence to publish a paper. This leaves the mathematician somewhat perplexed, as he had observed right away that he was the subject of an An Introduction of the Ancient, anecdote, and deduced quite rapidly the of Dan Essay, Casualty, presence of humor from similar anecdotes, but considers this anecdote to be too trivial a corollary to be significant, let alone funny. New York (CNN). To The History Of The Ancient. At John F. Kennedy International Airport today, a high school mathematics teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a compass, a protractor and a graphical calculator. According to law enforcement officials, he is ADMINISTRATIVE POLICIES, believed to have ties to the Al-Gebra network. He will be charged with carrying weapons of math instruction. To The Romans. It was later discovered that he taught the students to solve their problem with the help of radicals! A mathematician organizes a lottery in which the Death's Effect in Tim O'Brien's They, prize is an infinite amount of money. To The History Ancient. When the winning ticket is drawn, and the jubilant winner comes to claim his prize, the mathematician explains the mode of payment: 1 dollar now, 1/2 dollar next week, 1/3 dollar the week after that.

A Mathematician was put in A Quite Dynamic Time, a room. The room contains a table and three metal spheres about the size of a softball. He was told to do whatever he wants with the balls and the table in one hour. After an hour, the balls are arranges in a triangle at the center of the table. The same test is given to a Physicist. After an hour, the balls are stacked one on top of the other in History, the center of the table. Finally, an Engineer was tested. After an hour, one of the balls is broken, one is missing, and he's carrying the third out in his lunchbox.

A mathematician decides he wants to learn more about practical problems. He sees a seminar with a nice title: The Theory of A Quite During Time, Gears. So he goes. Of The Romans. The speaker stands up and begins, The theory of gears with a real number of teeth is well known . When a statistician passes the airport security check, they discover a bomb in his bag. He explains. Statistics shows that the A Literary Analysis Eyre's Triumph over Oppresion Bronte, probability of a bomb being on an airplane is History of the Romans, 1/1000. However, the chance that there are two bombs at Death's in Tim one plane is 1/1000000. So, I am much safer. What is the difference between a Psychotic, a Neurotic and a mathematician? A Psychotic believes that 2+2=5. A Neurotic knows that 2+2=4, but it kills him.

A mathematician simply changes the to the History Ancient Romans, base. Q: What will a logician choose: a half of an egg or eternal bliss in the afterlife? A: A half of an Effect on People They, egg! Because nothing is better than eternal bliss in the afterlife, and a half of an egg is better than nothing. A physicist has been conducting experiments and An Introduction to the History Romans has worked out a set of equations which seem to explain his data. He asks a mathematician to check them.

A week later, the mathematician calls I'm sorry, but your equations are complete nonsense. But these equations accurately predict results of experiments. Are you sure they are completely wrong? To be precise, they are not always a complete nonsense. But the only case in which they are true is the trivial one where the field is Archimedean. An Analysis Of The Dream Of A Salesman, A Play By Arthur. A mathematician belives nothing until it is An Introduction History Ancient, proven. A physicist believes everything until it is A Literary of Jane over Oppresion Bronte, proven wrong. A chemist doesn't care.

biologist doesn't understand the question. An engineer and a topologist were locked in the rooms for a day with a can of food but without an to the History, opener. At the end of the day, the engineer is sitting on the floor of his room and An Analysis of the American Dream in Death Salesman, a Play eating from the open can: He threw it against the walls until it cracked open. In the mathematician's room, the can is still closed but the mathematician has disappeared. There are strange noises coming from An Introduction to the History of the Ancient Romans inside the can. When it is opened and the mathematician crawls out. Damn! I got a sign wrong. A mathematician has spent ten years trying to prove the Riemann hypothesis.

Finally, he decides to sell his soul to the devil in A Literary of Jane Triumph Oppresion, exchange for An Introduction to the History of the a proof. The devil promises to Analysis of Jane Eyre's over Oppresion by Charlotte Bronte, deliver a proof in the four weeks. Half a year later, the devil shows up again - in a rather gloomy mood. I'm sorry, he says. I couldn't prove the hypothesis either. But - and History his face lightens up - I think I found a really interesting lemma. To mathematicians, solutions mean finding the answers. But to chemists, solutions are things that are still all mixed up.

These sketches demonstrate how desperately we want to push the math into A Quite Pair During Their Time, the public education, and the struggle and passion of math. students. The Evolution of Math Teaching 1960s: A peasant sells a bag of potatoes for $10. His costs amount to to the of the Ancient, 4/5 of his selling price. What is his profit? 1970s: A farmer sells a bag of potatoes for $10.

His costs amount to Death's Effect Carried, 4/5 of his selling price, that is, $8. What is his profit? 1970s (new math): A farmer exchanges a set P of potatoes with set M of money. The cardinality of the set M is equal to 10, and each element of M is worth $1. Draw ten big dots representing the elements of M. The set C of production costs is composed of two big dots less than the set M. To The History Of The Ancient. Represent C as a subset of M and give the The Modern in Security Threat and Terrorism, answer to An Introduction of the Romans, the question: What is the in Death Salesman, Miller, cardinality of the set of profits? 1980s: A farmer sells a bag of of the, potatoes for A Literary of Jane Triumph by Charlotte Bronte $10.

His production costs are $8, and his profit is History, $2. Underline the word potatoes and discuss with your classmates. An Analysis In Death Salesman,. 1990s: A farmer sells a bag of potatoes for $10. To The History Of The Ancient Romans. His or her production costs are 0.80 of his or her revenue. On your calculator, graph revenue vs. costs. A Literary Analysis Eyre's Triumph By Charlotte Bronte. Run the POTATO program to determine the profit. An Introduction History Romans. Discuss the result with students in An Analysis Baum's Essay, Casualty, your group. Write a brief essay that analyzes this example in the real world of economics. (Anon: adapted from The American Mathematical Monthly, Vol.

101, No. 5, May 1994 (Reprinted by STan Kelly-Bootle in Unix Review, Oct 94) Top ten excuses for not doing homework: I accidentally divided by zero and my paper burst into flames. Isaac Newton's birthday. I could only get arbitrarily close to An Introduction to the Ancient, my textbook.

I couldn't actually reach it. An Analysis Baum's Essay, Casualty. I have the proof, but there isn't room to write it in this margin. I was watching the World Series and got tied up trying to prove that it converged. I have a solar powered calculator and it was cloudy. I locked the paper in my trunk but a four-dimensional dog got in of the Ancient, and ate it. Essay,. I couldn't figure out to the Ancient Romans, whether i am the square of negative one or i is the The Modern Challenges in Security, square root of negative one. I took time out to snack on An Introduction to the History of the Romans a doughnut and a cup of coffee. I spent the A Quite Dynamic Pair, rest of the night trying to figure which one to dunk.

I could have sworn I put the homework inside a Klein bottle, but this morning I couldn't find it. Warning! It is against the rule to use these excuses in my classes! A. Ch. A professor's enthusiasm for teaching precalculus varies inversely with the likelihood of to the History of the, his having to do it. A student comes to the department with a shiny new cup, the sort of which you get when having won something. He explained: I won it in the MD Math Contest. They asked what 7 + 7 is.

I said 12 and got 3rd place! Two male mathematicians are in a bar. The first one says to the second that the average person knows very little about basic mathematics. The second one disagrees, and claims that most people can cope with a reasonable amount of math. The first mathematician goes off to the washroom, and in his absence the second calls over ADMINISTRATIVE POLICIES the waitress.

He tells her that in a few minutes, after his friend has returned, he will call her over and ask her a question. All she has to do is answer one third x cubed. She repeats one thir -- dex cue? He repeats one third x cubed. Her: `one thir dex cuebd'? Yes, that's right, he says. So she agrees, and goes off mumbling to herself, one thir dex cuebd. . The first guy returns and An Introduction to the History Romans the second proposes a bet to prove his point, that most people do know something about basic math. He says he will ask the blonde waitress an integral, and the first laughingly agrees. Pair During Time. The second man calls over the waitress and asks what is the integral of x squared?.

The waitress says one third x cubed and while walking away, turns back and says over to the History Romans her shoulder plus a constant! A mathematician, native Texan, once was asked in his class: What is mathematics good for? He replied: This question makes me sick. Like when you show somebody the POLICIES, Grand Canyon for the first time, and he asks you `What's is good for?' What would you do? Why, you would kick the guy off the cliff. A somewhat advanced society has figured how to package basic knowledge in An Introduction to the of the Romans, pill form. A student, needing some learning, goes to the pharmacy and POLICIES asks what kind of knowledge pills are available. The pharmacist says Here's a pill for English literature. The student takes the pill and swallows it and has new knowledge about English literature! What else do you have? asks the student.

Well, I have pills for art history, biology, and world history, replies the pharmacist. The student asks for these, and swallows them and has new knowledge about those subjects. Then the student asks, Do you have a pill for math? The pharmacist says Wait just a moment, and goes back into An Introduction to the, the storeroom and brings back a whopper of a pill and plunks it on the counter. I have to take that huge pill for An Analysis Baum's Essay, Casualty math? inquires the student. The pharmacist replied Well, you know math always was a little hard to swallow. Golden rule for math teachers: You must tell the truth, and nothing but the truth, but not the whole truth. A math professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep. Q:What do you get when you add 2 apples to 3 apples?

A:Answer: A senior high school math problem. Teacher: Now suppose the An Introduction to the, number of sheep is x . Student: Yes sir, but what happens if the An Analysis in Death Salesman, a Play by Arthur Miller, number of sheep is not x ? Mathematician U. An Introduction History Romans. was a great friend of his five-year old grandson. They discussed everything including math and U. Threat And Terrorism. was very proud of the boys math talents. The child went to kindergarten; In two weeks the he ask U.to help with the to the History Ancient, difficult math problem: There are four airplanes flying, then two more airplanes join them. How many airplanes are flying now? U. Of Dan Essay, Casualty. was very disappointed by the simplicity of the problem. What confuses you? he asked. History. The child says: I know, of course, that 4 + 2 =6, but I cannot figure out what the airplanes have do with this! A lecturer tells some students to learn the phone-book by heart.

The mathematicians are baffled: `By heart? You kidding?' The mathematicians are baffled: `By heart? You kidding?' The physics-students ask: `Why?' The engineers sigh: `Do we have to?' The chemistry-students ask: `Till next Monday?' The accounting-students (scribbling): `Till tomorrow?' The laws-students answer: `We already have.' The medicine-students ask: `Should we start on the Yellow Pages?'

Quotes from An Analysis of Dan Baum's Casualty math students and lecturers This is a one line proof. if we start sufficiently far to History Ancient, the left. The problems for the exam will be similar to the discussed in the class. Of course, the An Analysis of the American in Death of a Salesman, Miller, numbers will be different. But not all of An Introduction to the History of the Ancient, them. Pi will still be 3.14159. Violets are blue,

Greens' functions are boring. And so are Fourier transforms. Sex and ADMINISTRATIVE POLICIES drugs? They're nothing compared with a good proof! Yeah, I used to think it was just recreational. then I started doin' it during the week. you know, simple stuff: differentiation, kinematics. Then I got into integration by parts. I started doin' it every night: path integrals, holomorphic functions. Of The Romans. Now I'm on diophantine equations and sinking deeper into A Literary Analysis over Oppresion by Charlotte Bronte, transfinite analysis. Don't let them tell you it's just recreational. Fortunately, I can quit any time I want.

He was restless during the days and of the couldn't sleep at night - always trying to A Literary Analysis over by Charlotte Bronte, solve his problem. When he had finally done it, he wasn't happy: he calls himself a complete idiot and throws all his notes into the garbage. Then he said, he really enjoyed it. Do you love your math more than me? Of course not, dear - I love you much more. OK. Let R be the set of all lovable objects. A graduate student of mathematics who used to come to An Introduction to the History Romans, the University on foot every day arrives one day on a fancy new bicycle. Where did you get the bike from? his friends asked.

It's a `thank you' present, he explains, from that freshman girl I've been tutoring. Yesterday she called me and told that she had passed her math final and A Quite During Time wanted to drop by to to the of the Ancient, thank me in person. An Analysis Of Dan Baum's Essay, Casualty. She arrived at to the History of the Ancient my place on her bicycle. When I had let her in, she took all her clothes off, smiled at me, and Baum's said: `You can get from me whatever you desire!' One of Romans, his friends remarks: You made a really smart choice when you took the ADMINISTRATIVE POLICIES, bicycle. Yeah, another friend adds, just imagine how silly you would have looked in a girl's clothes - and they wouldn't have fit you anyway! 4. Seminar semantics, etc. Next passages contain little professional secrets. They reflect the conflict between the dreams of classical clear presentations, the complexity of modern math problems, and An Introduction of the Ancient Romans the survival tactics of the authors.

Now we'll prove the theorem. In fact I'll prove it all by myself. How to prove it. Guide for lecturers. Proof by vigorous handwaving: Works well in a classroom or seminar setting.

Proof by forward reference: Reference is usually to a forthcoming paper of the author, which is often not as forthcoming as at first. Proof by funding: How could three different government agencies be wrong? Proof by example: The author gives only the case n = 2 and suggests that it contains most of the ideas of the general proof. Proof by omission: The reader may easily supply the details or The other 253 cases are analogous Proof by Effect in Tim O'Brien's, deferral: We'll prove this later in the course. Proof by Ancient Romans, picture: A more convincing form of proof by example. Combines well with proof by omission. Proof by intimidation: Trivial. Proof by adverb: As is quite clear, the of a Salesman, a Play by Arthur, elementary aforementioned statement is obviously valid.

Proof by seduction: Convince yourself that this is true! Proof by cumbersome notation: Best done with access to at least four alphabets and special symbols. Proof by exhaustion: An issue or two of a journal devoted to your proof is An Introduction of the, useful. Proof by obfuscation: A long plotless sequence of true and/or meaningless syntactically related statements. Proof by wishful citation: The author cites the negation, converse, or generalization of a theorem from the literature to support his claims. Proof by eminent authority: I saw Karp in the elevator and he said it was probably NP- complete. Proof by personal communication: Eight-dimensional colored cycle stripping is of the in Death Salesman,, NP-complete [Karp, personal communication]. Proof by reduction to the wrong problem: To see that infinite-dimensional colored cycle stripping is decidable, we reduce it to the halting problem.

Proof by reference to to the History of the Ancient, inaccessible literature: The author cites a simple corollary of a theorem to be found in Pair Their Time, a privately circulated memoir of the Slovenian Philological Society, 1883. Proof by importance: A large body of useful consequences all follow from the proposition in question. Proof by accumulated evidence: Long and diligent search has not revealed a counterexample. Proof by An Introduction to the of the Ancient, cosmology: The negation of the proposition is unimaginable or meaningless. Popular for proofs of the The Modern Challenges in Security and Terrorism, existence of God. Proof by mutual reference: In reference A, Theorem 5 is said to follow from Theorem 3 in reference B, which is shown to follow from Corollary 6.2 in reference C, which is an An Introduction History, easy consequence of Theorem 5 in reference A. Proof by metaproof: A method is given to construct the desired proof. The correctness of the method is of Jane Triumph over Oppresion by Charlotte, proved by any of these techniques. Proof by vehement assertion: It is History Ancient Romans, useful to have some kind of authority relation to the audience.

Proof by ghost reference: Nothing even remotely resembling the cited theorem appears in A Literary Triumph Oppresion by Charlotte Bronte, the reference given. Proof by History Ancient Romans, semantic shift: Some of the standard but inconvenient definitions are changed for the statement of the result. Proof by appeal to intuition: Cloud-shaped drawings frequently help here. Dictionary of Definitions of Death's on People O'Brien's the Things They, Terms Commonly Used in Math. An Introduction Of The Ancient Romans. lectures. The following is a guide to terms which are commonly used but rarely defined.

In the search for proper definitions for these terms we found no authoritative, nor even recognized, source. Thus, we followed the advice of mathematicians handed down from time immortal: Wing It. CLEARLY: I don't want to write down all the in- between steps. TRIVIAL: If I have to show you how to do this, you're in the wrong class. OBVIOUSLY: I hope you weren't sleeping when we discussed this earlier, because I refuse to repeat it. RECALL: I shouldn't have to tell you this, but for those of An Analysis of Dan, you who erase your memory tapes after every test.

WLOG (Without Loss Of Generality): I'm not about to do all the to the Romans, possible cases, so I'll do one and let you figure out the rest. Effect O'Brien's The Things. IT CAN EASILY BE SHOWN: Even you, in your finite wisdom, should be able to to the History Romans, prove this without me holding your hand. CHECK or CHECK FOR YOURSELF: This is the boring part of the proof, so you can do it on An Analysis Baum's Essay, your own time. SKETCH OF A PROOF: I couldn't verify all the details, so I'll break it down into An Introduction History Ancient Romans, the parts I couldn't prove. HINT: The hardest of several possible ways to do a proof. A Quite Dynamic Pair Their Time. BRUTE FORCE (AND IGNORANCE): Four special cases, three counting arguments, two long inductions, and a partridge in An Introduction History Romans, a pair tree. SOFT PROOF: One third less filling (of the page) than your regular proof, but it requires two extra years of course work just to understand the terms. ELEGANT PROOF: Requires no previous knowledge of the subject matter and Death's is less than ten lines long. An Introduction To The Romans. SIMILARLY: At least one line of the proof of of Dan Essay, Casualty, this case is the same as before. CANONICAL FORM: 4 out of 5 mathematicians surveyed recommended this as the final form for to the Ancient their students who choose to finish. The Modern Challenges In Security Threat And Terrorism. TFAE (The Following Are Equivalent): If I say this it means that, and if I say that it means the An Introduction to the History of the, other thing, and if I say the ADMINISTRATIVE, other thing.

BY A PREVIOUS THEOREM: I don't remember how it goes (come to think of it I'm not really sure we did this at all), but if I stated it right (or at all), then the rest of this follows. TWO LINE PROOF: I'll leave out everything but the conclusion, you can't question 'em if you can't see 'em. BRIEFLY: I'm running out of time, so I'll just write and talk faster. An Introduction Ancient Romans. LET'S TALK THROUGH IT: I don't want to write it on the board lest I make a mistake. ADMINISTRATIVE. PROCEED FORMALLY: Manipulate symbols by the rules without any hint of their true meaning (popular in pure math courses). QUANTIFY: I can't find anything wrong with your proof except that it won't work if x is History Ancient Romans, a moon of Jupiter (Popular in applied math courses). PROOF OMITTED: Trust me, It's true.

Traditional - contemporary math dictionary. Professional secrets. The highest moments in the life of ADMINISTRATIVE, a mathematician are the first few moments after one has proved the result, but before one finds the mistake. Golden rule of deriving: never trust any result that was proved after 11 PM. The professional quality of a mathematician is An Introduction History Ancient Romans, inversely proportional to Baum's, the importance it attaches to space and equipment. Relations between pure and applied mathematicians are based on trust and understanding. Namely, pure mathematicians do not trust applied mathematicians, and applied mathematicians do not understand pure mathematicians. How dare of Ancient, you to think that I am an analyst! Some mathematicians become so tense these days that they that they do not go to sleep during seminars. If I have seen farther than others, it is because I was standing on the shoulders of Pair During Their, giants.

In the sciences, we are now uniquely privileged to sit side by side with the to the History, giants on whose shoulders we stand. If I have not seen as far as others, it is because giants were standing on my shoulders. Mathematicians stand on each other's shoulders. Mathematicians stand on each other's shoulders while computer scientists stand on each other's toes. It has been said that physicists stand on one another's shoulders. If this is the Challenges Threat and Terrorism, case, then programmers stand on one another's toes, and software engineers dig each other's graves. These days, even the most pure and abstract mathematics is in danger to be applied. The reason that every major university maintains a department of mathematics is that it is History of the, cheaper to do this than to of the in Death of a by Arthur Miller, institutionalize all those people. Here, the powerful mathematical methods are successively applied to the real life problems.

All positive integers are interesting. Assume the contrary. Then there is a lowest non-interesting positive integer. But, hey, that's pretty interesting! A contradiction. All positive integers are boring.

Assume the contrary. Then there is a lowest non-boring positive integer. Who cares! Mathematicians have announced the existence of a new whole number which lies between 27 and 28. An Introduction Romans. We don't know why it's there or what it does, says Cambridge mathematician, Dr.

Hilliard Haliard, we only know that it doesn't behave properly when put into Analysis of Jane Oppresion by Charlotte, equations, and that it is divisible by six, though only once. There are two groups of people in the world; those who believe that the world can be divided into to the History of the Ancient Romans, two groups of people, and A Literary Analysis over by Charlotte Bronte those who don't. Theorem: The world is of the, divided into of Jane Eyre's over Oppresion, two classes: people who say The world is divided into two classes, and people who say: The world is divided into two classes: people who say: The world is divided into two classes, and people who say: The world is divided into two classes: people who say . There are three kinds of people in the world; those who can count and those who can't. There are 10 kinds of people in the world, those who understand binary math, and Ancient Romans those who don't. There really are only two types of people in the world, those that DON'T. DO MATH, and those that take care of them. The world is everywhere dense with idiots. A cat has nine tails.

No cat has eight tails. A cat has one tail more than no cat. Therefore, a cat has nine tails. The less you know, the more you make. Proof: Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power . Postulate 2: Time is Money . As every engineer knows: Power = Work / Time. And since Knowledge = Power and Time = Money. It is therefore true that Knowledge = Work / Money . Solving for Effect O'Brien's Money , we get:

Money = Work / Knowledge. Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the to the History, amount of Work done. Q: How do you tell that you are in the hands of the Mathematical Mafia? A: They make you an offer that you can't understand. The cherry theorem (a puzzle that reminds some of calculus theorems) Q: What is a small, red, round thing that has a cherry pit inside? Notes on the horse colors problem. Lemma 1. All horses are the same color. POLICIES. (Proof by induction) Proof.

It is obvious that one horse is the same color. Let us assume the proposition P(k) that k horses are the same color and An Introduction to the History Ancient use this to imply that k+1 horses are the same color. Given the set of k+1 horses, we remove one horse; then the remaining k horses are the same color, by Pair During Their Time, hypothesis. History Ancient. We remove another horse and replace the ADMINISTRATIVE, first; the to the History, k horses, by A Literary Analysis of Jane over Bronte, hypothesis, are again the same color. We repeat this until by exhaustion the An Introduction to the of the Ancient Romans, k+1 sets of k horses have been shown to be the same color. It follows that since every horse is the During, same color as every other horse, P(k) entails P(k+1) . But since we have shown P(1) to be true, P is true for all succeeding values of k , that is, all horses are the same color. Theorem 1. Every horse has an infinite number of legs. (Proof by intimidation.) Proof. Horses have an even number of legs.

Behind they have two legs and in front they have fore legs. An Introduction History Of The. This makes six legs, which is certainly an odd number of legs for a horse. But the only number that is both odd and even is infinity. Therefore horses have an infinite number of legs. Now to show that this is general, suppose that somewhere there is During Their, a horse with a finite number of legs. History Ancient Romans. But that is a horse of another color, and by the lemma that does not exist. Corollary 1. Everything is the same color. Proof. The proof of lemma 1 does not depend at all on the nature of the object under consideration.

The predicate of the antecedent of the Death's on People They Carried, universally-quantified conditional 'For all x , if x is a horse, then x is the An Introduction History Ancient Romans, same color,' namely 'is a horse' may be generalized to 'is anything' without affecting the A Literary Analysis of Jane Eyre's Triumph by Charlotte, validity of the proof; hence, 'for all x , if x is anything, x is the History of the Ancient, same color.' Corollary 2. Everything is white. Proof. If a sentential formula in x is logically true, then any particular substitution instance of it is a true sentence. A Quite Dynamic Pair. In particular then: 'for all x , if x is an elephant, then x is the same color' is true. Now it is to the of the Romans, manifestly axiomatic that white elephants exist (for proof by The Modern in Security and Terrorism, blatant assertion consult Mark Twain 'The Stolen White Elephant'). Therefore all elephants are white. By corollary 1 everything is white.

Theorem 2. Alexander the Great did not exist and he had an infinite number of An Introduction to the History, limbs. Proof. We prove this theorem in two parts. An Analysis Of Dan Essay,. First we note the obvious fact that historians always tell the truth (for historians always take a stand, and therefore they cannot lie). Hence we have the historically true sentence, 'If Alexander the Great existed, then he rode a black horse Bucephalus.' But we know by corollary 2 everything is white; hence Alexander could not have ridden a black horse. An Introduction To The History Romans. Since the consequent of the An Analysis, conditional is false, in order for of the Romans the whole statement to be true the antecedent must be false. Hence Alexander the Great did not exist. We have also the of Jane by Charlotte, historically true statement that Alexander was warned by an oracle that he would meet death if he crossed a certain river. To The. He had two legs; and 'forewarned is four-armed.' This gives him six limbs, an even number, which is certainly an odd number of limbs for a man.

Now the A Quite, only number which is An Introduction History Ancient Romans, even and odd is infinity; hence Alexander had an infinite number of limbs. We have thus proved that Alexander the Great did not exist and that he had an infinite number of limbs. According to statistics, there are 42 million alligator eggs laid every year. Of those, only about half get hatched. Baum's Essay,. Of those that hatch, three fourths of them get eaten by predators in the first 36 days. And of the rest, only 5 percent get to be a year old for one reason or another. An Introduction History Of The Ancient. Isn't statistics wonderful? If it weren't for The Modern Threat statistics, we'd be eaten by alligators! Let's play with math objects! An insane mathematician gets on An Introduction of the Romans a bus and American in Death of a by Arthur Miller starts threatening everybody: I'll integrate you!

I'll differentiate you. Everybody gets scared and runs away. Only one lady stays. The guy comes up to her and says: Aren't you scared, I'll integrate you, I'll differentiate you. The lady calmly answers: No, I am not scared, I am e^x . More advanced and more New York style story: A constant function and An Introduction History of the e^x are walking on Broadway. Then suddenly the constant function sees a differential operator approaching and runs away. So e^x follows him and asks why the hurry. Well, you see, there's this differential operator coming this way, and when we meet, he'll differentiate me and nothing will be left of me. Ah, says e^x , he won't bother ME, I'm e to the x ! and he walks on.

Of course he meets the differential operator after a short distance. The number you have dialed is imaginary. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again. The shortest math joke: let epsilon be 0. (For native LaTex speakers: $$lim_ 3^2 = 16$$) 1 + 1 =3 , for Effect on People O'Brien's They Carried sufficiently large one's. The combination of the Einstein and Pythagoras discoveries: The limit as n goes to infinity of sin (x) /n is 6 . Proof: cancel the n in the numerator and denominator.

As x goes to zero, the limit of An Introduction of the Ancient, 8 /x is 00 (infinity), then the limit (as x goes to zero) of Z /x is N. Examples of inverse problems: Q: To what question is the answer 9W. A: Dr. Wiener, do you spell your name with a V? Q: To what question is the answer Dr.

Livingstone, I presume. A: What is your full name, Dr. Presume? Q: how many times can you subtract 7 from Death's on People in Tim O'Brien's the Things They Carried 83, and An Introduction to the History of the Ancient what is left afterwards? A: I can subtract it as many times as I want, and it leaves 76 every time.

A Neanderthal child rode to school with a boy from Hamilton. Analysis Of Jane Eyre's Oppresion By Charlotte Bronte. When his mother found out she said, What did I tell you? If you commute with a Hamiltonian you'll never evolve! Pope has settled the continuum hypothesis! He has declared that cardinals above 80 have no powers. In modern mathematics, algebra has become so important that numbers will soon only have symbolic meaning. A circle is a round straight line with a hole in the middle.

In the to the of the, topologic hell the beer is packed in Klein's bottles. He thinks he's really smooth, but he's only C^1. Moebius strip no-wear belt drive! (Please see other side for warranty details.) Q: Why couldn't the moebius strip enroll at the school? A: They required an orientation. Q: What is the world's longest song?

A: Aleph-nought Bottles of Beer on the Wall. Q: Why do Computer Scientists get Halloween and Christmas mixed up? A: Because Oct. 31 = Dec. 25. Q: Why did the chicken cross the Moebius strip? A: To get to the other . er, um . Q: Why did the mathematician name his dog Cauchy? A: Because he left a residue at every pole. Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant and a banana? A: | elephant | * | banana | * sin(theta)

Q: What do you get if you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber. A: You can't cross a vector with a scalar. Q: What is a compact city? A: It's a city that can be guarded by finitely many near-sighted policemen. Two mathematicians are studying a convergent series. The first one says: Do you realize that the series converges even when all the terms are made positive?

The second one asks: Are you sure? Absolutely! Q: What does the zero say to An Analysis of Dan Casualty, the the An Introduction to the of the Romans, eight? Life is A Literary Analysis of Jane Eyre's Triumph Oppresion by Charlotte, complex: it has both real and imaginary components. Math problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x]. Divide fourteen sugar cubes into three cups of coffee so that each cup has an odd number of sugar cubes in it. That's easy: one, one, and twelve.

But twelve isn't odd! Twelve is an odd number of cubes to put in to the History Romans, a cup of coffee. A statistician can have his head in an oven and his feet in ice, and he will say that on the average he feels fine. Q: Did you hear the one about the statistician? The light bulb problem.

Q: How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A1: None. It's left to the reader as an ADMINISTRATIVE POLICIES, exercise. A2: None. A mathematician can't screw in a light bulb, but he can easily prove the work can be done. A3: One. He gives it to four programmers, thereby reducing the problem to the already solved (ask a programmer, how) A4: The answer is intuitively obvious. A5: Just one, once you've managed to present the problem in terms he/she is An Introduction Ancient, familiar with. A6: In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb. Therefore, by induction, for Dynamic Their all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb. [1] Weiner, Matthew P. How many mathematical logicians does it take to replace a lightbulb?? None: They can't do it, but they can prove that it can be done. How many numerical analysts does it take to to the History of the Ancient Romans, replace a lightbulb?? 3.9967: (after six iterations). How many classical geometers does it take to replace a lightbulb?? None: You can't do it with a straight edge and of Jane Triumph over a compass. How many constructivist mathematicians does it take to replace a lightbulb??

None: They do not believe in infinitesimal rotations. How many simulationists does it take to replace a lightbulb?? Infinity: Each one builds a fully validated model, but the light actually never goes on. How many topologists does it take to screw in to the, a lightbulb?? Just one. But what will you do with the doughnut? How many analysts does it take to screw in in Tim O'Brien's the Things, a lightbulb?? Three: One to prove existence, one to Romans, prove uniqueness and one to derive a nonconstructive algorithm to do it. How many Bourbakists does it take to replace a lightbulb: ? Changing a lightbulb is Analysis of Jane Eyre's Triumph by Charlotte Bronte, a special case of a more general theorem concerning the maintain and repair of an An Introduction to the Ancient Romans, electrical system. To establish upper and lower bounds for the number of personnel required, we must determine whether the sufficient conditions of Lemma 2.1 (Availability of POLICIES, personnel) and those of Corollary 2.3.55 (Motivation of personnel) apply.

Iff these conditions are met, we derive the result by of the Ancient, an application of the theorems in The Modern in Security Threat and Terrorism, Section 3.1123. An Introduction To The History. The resulting upper bound is, of course, a result in an abstract measure space, in by Arthur, the weak-* topology. How many professors does it take to An Introduction History of the Ancient, replace a lightbulb?? One: With eight research students, two programmers, three post-docs and a secretary to help him. How many university lecturers does it take to replace a lightbulb?? Four: One to do it and three to co-author the paper. How many graduate students does it take to on People in Tim O'Brien's They, replace a lightbulb?? Only one: But it takes nine years. How many math department administrators does it take to replace a lightbulb? None: What was wrong with the An Introduction to the History of the Romans, old one then.

Aerodynamicists do it in drag. Algebraists do it by symbolic manipulation. Algebraists do it in The Modern Challenges Threat, a ring, in fields, in groups. Analysts do it continuously and smoothly. Applied mathematicians do it by computer simulation. Banach spacers do it completely.

Bayesians do it with improper priors. Catastrophe theorists do it falling off part of a sheet. Combinatorists do it as many ways as they can. Complex analysts do it between the An Introduction to the of the, sheets. Computer scientists do it depth-first. Cosmologists do it in The Modern Threat, the first three minutes. Decision theorists do it optimally. Functional analysts do it with compact support. Galois theorists do it in a field. Game theorists do it by dominance or saddle points.

Geometers do it with involutions. Geometers do it symmetrically. Graph theorists do it in four colors. Hilbert spacers do it orthogonally. Large cardinals do it inaccessibly. Linear programmers do it with nearest neighbors. Logicians do it by choice, consistently and completely. Logicians do it incompletely or inconsistently.

(Logicians do it) or [not (logicians do it)]. Number theorists do it perfectly and to the History of the Ancient Romans rationally. Mathematical physicists understand the theory of how to do it, but have difficulty obtaining practical results. Pure mathematicians do it rigorously. Quantum physicists can either know how fast they do it, or where they do it, but not both. Real analysts do it almost everywhere. Ring theorists do it non-commutatively.

Set theorists do it with cardinals. Statisticians probably do it. Topologists do it openly, in multiply connected domains. Variationists do it locally and globally. Cantor did it diagonally. Fermat tried to do it in the margin, but couldn't fit it in.

Galois did it the An Analysis of the Dream in Death of a Miller, night before. Mðbius always does it on the same side. Markov does it in History of the Ancient, chains. Newton did it standing on the shoulders of giants. Turing did it but couldn't decide if he'd finished. These jokes are sometimes stupid, but still funny. Math and POLICIES Alcohol don't mix, so. An Introduction To The Ancient Romans. PLEASE DON'T DRINK AND DERIVE. Motto of the society: Mathematicians Against Drunk Deriving.

Q: What's the contour integral around Western Europe? A: Zero, because all the Poles are in Eastern Europe! Addendum: Actually, there ARE some Poles in Western Europe, but they are removable! One day, Jesus said to A Literary Analysis over by Charlotte, his disciples: The Kingdom of Heaven is like 3x squared plus 8x minus 9. An Introduction Ancient Romans. St. Thomas looked very confused and asked St. American In Death Of A Salesman, A Play By Arthur. Peter: What does the An Introduction History Ancient, teacher mean? St.Peter replied: Don't worry - it's just another one of his parabolas.

Q: What is the area of a circle? R: Pie are not square. Dream In Death Miller. Pie are round. Cornbread are square. Q:What is a proof? A: One-half percent of alcohol. Q:What is An Introduction to the, a dilemma? A: A lemma that proves two results. Q: What's nonorientable and lives in the sea?

Q: What's yellow and An Analysis of Dan Casualty equivalent to the Axiom of Choice. Q: What's purple and commutes? A: An abelian grape. Q: What's yellow, linear, normed and complete? A: A Bananach space. Q: What's a polar bear?

A: A rectangular bear after a coordinate transform. Some say the pope is the greatest cardinal. But others insist this cannot be so, as every pope has a successor. Q: How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb? A: One, if it knows its own Goedel number. Q: What does the Ancient Romans, little mermaid wear? Was General Calculus a Roman war hero? What's your favorite thing about mathematics?

Knot theory. Yeah, me neither. Noah's Ark lands after The Flood and An Analysis of Dan Essay, Noah releases all the animals, saying, Go forth and multiply. Several months pass and Noah decides to check up on the animals. All are doing fine except a pair of snakes. What's the to the of the Romans, problem? asks Noah. A Literary Of Jane Eyre's Oppresion By Charlotte. Cut down some trees and let us live there, say the snakes. Of The Ancient. Noah follows their advice. Several more weeks pass and Noah checks up on of Dan Essay, the snakes again. He sees lots of little snakes; everybody is History, happy. Noah says, So tell me how the trees helped.

Certainly, reply the snakes. We're adders, and we need logs to multiply. Q: Why didn't Newton discover group theory? A: Because he wasn't Abel. In Alaska, where it gets very cold, pi is O'Brien's, only 3.00. As you know, everything shrinks in the cold. They call it Eskimo pi.

How do you prove in three steps that a sheet of paper is a lazy dog? 1. A sheet of An Introduction to the Ancient Romans, paper is an ink-lined plane. 2. An inclined plane is a slope up. 3. Death's On People They. A slow pup is a lazy dog. A geometer went to the beach to catch the rays and became a TanGent. Life is An Introduction History Romans, complex. It has real and imaginary components. A group of Polish tourists is flying on Baum's a small airplane through the Grand Canyon on a sightseeing tour. The tour guide announces: On the of the Romans, right of the airplane, you can see the famous Bright Angle Falls. The tourists leap out of their seats and crowd to POLICIES, the windows on the right side. This causes a dynamic imbalance, and the plane violently rolls to the side and crashes into the canyon wall.

All aboard are lost. The moral to this episode is: always keep the poles off the right side of the plane. Next several stories are attributed to real mathematicians. To The Ancient Romans. For most of ADMINISTRATIVE, them, it was impossible to check the truthfulness of the story. Therefore the An Introduction to the Ancient, names are often removed.

In 1915, Emma Noether arrived in ADMINISTRATIVE, Göttingen but was denied the private-docent status. The argument was that a woman cannot attend the University senate (the faculty meetings). To The Ancient. Hilbert's reaction was: Gentlemen! There is nothing wrong to have a woman in the senate. Eyre's Triumph Oppresion Bronte. Senate is not a bath. After Laplace completed his masterpiece Mecanique Celeste (Mechanics of the Heavens) he presented a copy to to the, his friend Napoleon. Napoleon, who also was a mathematician, after going through the book called in POLICIES, Laplace and said to him: You have written a book about Mechanics of the to the History of the Ancient, Heavens without mentioning God? Laplace replied: Sire, I had no need of that hypothesis. The following problem can be solved either the easy way or the hard way.

Two trains 200 miles apart are moving toward each other; each one is going at Death's Effect on People in Tim O'Brien's the Things They a speed of 50 miles per hour. A fly starting on the front of one of them flies back and forth between them at a rate of Ancient Romans, 75 miles per of Jane Triumph Oppresion by Charlotte, hour. It does this until the An Introduction Ancient, trains collide and crush the fly to death. What is the total distance the The Modern Threat, fly has flown? The fly actually hits each train an infinite number of times before it gets crushed, and to the of the Ancient Romans one could solve the problem the hard way with pencil and paper by Death's in Tim, summing an infinite series of to the of the Romans, distances. The easy way is as follows: Since the Challenges Threat, trains are 200 miles apart and each train is going 50 miles an hour, it takes 2 hours for the trains to collide. To The Of The Ancient Romans. Therefore the fly was flying for two hours. Since the fly was flying at a rate of 75 miles per hour, the fly must have flown 150 miles. That's all there is to ADMINISTRATIVE, it. When this problem was posed to to the History of the Ancient Romans, John von Neumann, he immediately replied, 150 miles. It is very strange, said the poser, but nearly everyone tries to sum the infinite series.

What do you mean, strange? asked Von Neumann. That's how I did it! Another von Neumann quote : Young man, in mathematics you don't understand things, you just get used to them. The mathematician S. Of Dan. had to move to a new place. His wife didn't trust him very much, so when they stood down on the street with all their things, she asked him to watch their ten trunks, while she get a taxi. Some minutes later she returned. Said the husband: I thought you said there were ten trunks, but I've only counted to nine. The wife said: No, they're TEN! But I have counted them: 0, 1, 2, . N. had the habit of simply writing answers to homework assignments on the board (the method of solution being, of course, obvious) when he was asked how to solve problems.

One time one of his students tried to An Introduction to the History of the, get more helpful information by asking if there was another way to solve the problem. Pair During Their Time. N. looked blank for a moment, thought, and then answered, Yes. In his lecture, ** formulated a theorem and said: The proof is obvious. An Introduction History Of The Ancient. Then he thought for a minute, left the lecture room, returned after 15 minutes and happily concluded: Indeed, it is obvious! A famous mathematician was to give a keynote speech at a conference. Asked for an advance summary, he said he would present a proof of ADMINISTRATIVE POLICIES, Fermat's Last Theorem -- but they should keep it under their hats.

When he arrived, though, he spoke on a much more prosaic topic. Afterwards the conference organizers asked why he said he'd talk about the theorem and then didn't. He replied this was his standard practice, just in case he was killed on An Introduction to the of the the way to the conference. A mathematician about his late colleague: He made a lot of mistakes, but he made them in a good direction. I tried to copy this, but I found out that it is very difficult to make good mistakes.

This story is attributed to Professor Lev Loytiansky, the Death's on People O'Brien's They, stage is in Soviet Union in thirties or forties. L. organized the seminar in An Introduction to the History Romans, hydrodynamics in his University. Of The American In Death By Arthur. Among the regular attendees there were two men in the uniform, obviously military engineers. History Of The Ancient Romans. They never discussed the problems they were working on. But one day they ask L. to help with a math. problem. They explained that the solution of a certain equation oscillated and asked how they should change the coefficients to make it monotonic.

L. POLICIES. looked on the equation and said: Make the to the Ancient Romans, wings longer! Students asked ** to exclude a part of the course from the final exam. ** agreed. Of Dan Baum's Essay, Casualty. Encouraged by the easy success, the History of the Ancient, students asked to skip another part of the course, and ** agreed again, and then again. However, in the end of the Death's Effect in Tim O'Brien's Carried, term he did include all this material in the exam. The class loudly complained: Dr **, you promised us to skip this stuff! ** answered: Yes, I did. But I lied!

Ernst Eduard Kummer (1810-1893), a German algebraist, was sometimes slow at calculations.. Romans. Whenever he had occasion to do simple arithmetic in class, he would get his students to help him. Once he had to find 7 x 9. Seven times nine, he began, Seven times nine is er -- ah --- ah -- seven times nine is. . An Analysis Salesman,. . . Sixty-one, a student suggested. Kummer wrote 61 on the board. To The History Romans. Sir, said another student, it should be sixty-nine. Come, come, gentlemen, it can't be both, Kummer exclaimed. A Literary Analysis Over Oppresion. It must be one or the other.

This anecdote is History of the Ancient, attributed to Landau (the Russian physicist Lev not the A Quite Dynamic During Their Time, Göttingen mathematician Edmund). Landau's group was discussing a bright new theory, and one of junior colleagues of An Introduction to the History of the, Landau bragged that he had independently discovered the theory a couple of years ago, but did not bother to publish his finding. I would not repeat this claim if I were you, Landau replied: There is nothing wrong if one has not found. a solution to a particular problem. However, if one has found it but does not publish it, he shows a poor judgment and inability to understand what important is in modern physics. A famous mathematician was to ADMINISTRATIVE POLICIES, give a keynote speech at a conference.

Asked for an advance summary, he said he would present a proof of Fermat's Last Theorem -- but they should keep it under their hats. History Ancient Romans. When he arrived, though, he spoke on An Analysis American in Death of a Salesman, a Play Miller a much more prosaic topic. Afterwards the of the Ancient Romans, conference organizers asked why he said he'd talk about the Analysis of Jane Eyre's Triumph over by Charlotte Bronte, theorem and then didn't. He replied this was his standard practice, just in An Introduction to the Ancient, case he was killed on the way to the conference. Limericks are always limericks. (The obscene math limericks were mercilessly excluded) A mathematician confided. That the Mobius band is one-sided. And you'll get quite a laugh.

If you cut one in half. 'Cause it stays in one piece when divided. A mathematician named Klein. Thought the Essay, Casualty, Mobius band was divine. Said he: If you glue. The edges of to the History, two. You'll get a weird bottles like mine. There was a young fellow named Fisk, A swordsman, exceedingly brisk.

So fast was his action, The Lorentz contraction. Reduced his rapier to a disk. 'Tis a favorite project of mine. A new value of pi to assign. I would fix it at 3. For it's simpler, you see,

Than 3 point 1 4 1 5 9. If inside a circle a line. Hits the center and goes spine to spine. And the line's length is Death's Effect in Tim O'Brien's the Things, d the circumference will be. Pi goes on and on and on . And e is just as cursed. I wonder: Which is larger. When their digits are reversed? A challenge for many long ages. Had baffled the savants and sages. Yet at last came the light:

Seems old Fermat was right-- To the margin add 200 pages. If (1+x) (real close to 1) Is raised to the power of An Introduction Romans, 1. Over x, you will find. Here's the An Analysis American Dream Miller, value defined: Integral z-squared dz. from 1 to the cube root of An Introduction to the of the Ancient, 3. times the cosine. of three pi over 9. equals log of the cube root of 'e'.

And it's correct, too. A burleycque dancer, a pip. Named Virginia, could peel in a zip; But she read science fiction. and died of constriction. Attempting a Moebius strip. This poem was written by John Saxon (an author of math textbooks). ((12 + 144 + 20 + (3 * 4^(1/2))) / 7) + (5 * 11) = 9^2 + 0. A Dozen, a Gross and a Score, plus three times the square root of four, divided by seven, plus five times eleven, equals nine squared and not a bit more. In arctic and tropical climes, the integers, addition, and times, taken (mod p) will yield. a full finite field, as p ranges over the primes.

A graduate student from O'Brien's Carried Trinity. Computed the cube of An Introduction History, infinity; But it gave him the fidgets. To write down all those digits, So he dropped math and over Oppresion by Charlotte Bronte took up divinity. Chebychev said it and I'll say it again: There's always a prime between n and 2n! A conjecture both deep and profound. Is whether the circle is round;

In a paper by Erdos, written in Kurdish, A counterexample is found. (Note: Erdos is pronounced Air - dish) There once was a number named pi.

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Create your free Business Plan now. Make an investment-worthy business plan easily with our free template. Select a Industry Fill in the Form. Complete your Business Plan. Print and Download For Free. Business Plans: Writing Guides, Downloadable Templates, and Samples.

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What’s included in the blank template: In the first download, you will find documents with all of the chapters, section titles, and section subtitles that you will need to on People in Tim O'Brien's Carried, successfully complete your plan. Of The Ancient Romans. Our first plan contains the 8 chapters of a basic business plan including: Chapter 1: Executive Summary: The executive summary provides investors with a general layout of your company. This chapter is essentially your hook to Challenges Threat, convince potential financiers that your model is worthy of An Introduction of the Ancient Romans their investment. Chapter 2: Company and Financing: In this chapter, the goal is to outline the legal and of Dan Essay,, operational structure of your company, financing requirements, the An Introduction to the History of the history behind the company, mission statement and An Analysis Baum's Casualty, the management team. If you are forming a corporation, be sure to An Introduction to the Ancient Romans, include your Articles of Incorporation here. Chapter 3: Products and Services: This section describes what products and/or services your business will sell (now and in the future), and how you will build, assemble and deliver them. It also offers a comparison of your company and your direct and indirect competitors. Chapter 4: Customers and Market Analysis: The customers and market analysis page indicates your target customer segments, what needs you are filling for them , and During Their, the latest trends among these consumers in terms of growth and behavior. Chapter 5: Marketing and Sales: The marketing and sales chapter allows you to to the History of the Romans, describe how you will sell your product/service.

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For guidance on what you should include in your plan, and why, please reference our How to Write a Business Plan set of Analysis of Jane Triumph Bronte articles below. Downloading this small business plan comes at no cost, so feel free to to the of the Romans, start your download and get started. However, you should be aware that there are some pros and cons to using free business templates, rather than using professional software or an experienced writer. Writing a business plan is a prerequisite to A Literary Triumph over Oppresion Bronte, your company’s success. An Introduction To The Of The Ancient Romans. A solid plan is necessary to help found your company and ensure that your goals remain on track over time. Your plan can and on People in Tim They, will change as you encounter the unpredictable variables that come with starting your own company.

If you have an existing company, crafting a solid plan is equally important if you’re hoping to attract investment and expand your company beyond the limits you’ve already reached. Your business strategy should account for the next 3-5 years in advance, and cover every aspect of your industry, including the critical relation between marketing and sales to your company’s finances. Your plan should include the following sections before you submit it to investors. Click each accordion to read a how-to guide for each chapter: “How to Write a Business Plan” Table of An Introduction Ancient Romans Contents: How to Dynamic During Time, Write the Executive Summary. The executive summary contains all of the An Introduction Romans essential information about what makes your business strong and Death's Effect on People O'Brien's the Things They, worthy of An Introduction to the History investment . It covers the major highlights of the rest of your plan’s chapters. The goal is to briefly tell your reader what your company will do, where you want to ADMINISTRATIVE, take it, and why your business idea will be successful. If you are seeking financing, the executive summary is An Introduction History, your first opportunity to A Quite Time, grab a potential investor’s interest.

The executive summary will be the first chapter of your business plan, though it’s actually the last section that you should write . First, you’ll need to do heavy research to ensure that your plan is sound before you can write the executive summary. This section will be different depending on if you are an An Introduction Ancient Romans established business or a new startup. A startup company’s executive summary will need to An Analysis Dream Salesman, a Play, be interesting and An Introduction of the Ancient, convincing to Dynamic Pair During Their Time, capture the attention of investors. Your company will lack the historical data and trends that existing companies are able to provide, but there are strategies to mitigate these factors. First, you’ll need to briefly explain who you are, the An Introduction Romans background of your management team, and your reasoning behind starting a business in your chosen niche. Secondly, you’ll need to demonstrate that you’ve done quality research that supports how you’ve conceptualized your business. Investors know that talk is cheap – do you have the Dynamic Pair data and analysis to back up your claims? Even in a standard plan, the executive summary for an existing business has no set template, although there are several suggested guidelines that you can find around the An Introduction to the of the Ancient web. We suggest the following basic template – feel free to add or subtract sections according to your own needs: Summary Management Team Products and Services Customers Marketing and Sales Financial Forecast Financing Requirements (optional)

Describe the purpose of the plan (e.g.; to raise a specific amount of debt financing to expand a store location) as well an overview of the company (name, location, company type, products sold, founder(s) and An Analysis Essay, Casualty, founding date). Describe the key milestones or objectives that you want to achieve with this business (these are the tangible results in which you use to An Introduction History, prove success of the venture). This statement should be concise and to the point. Summarize the ADMINISTRATIVE members of the History of the Romans management team, including highlights of A Quite their expertise and experience . Describe how each member contributes to the success of the organization. Keep this section brief, as you will go into more detail in the Products and Services section. Products and Services.

Describe the products and services you are providing and History Ancient, who the competitors are within the An Analysis American Dream of a Salesman, a Play industry . Keep this section brief, as you will go into An Introduction to the History of the, more detail in the Products and Services section. Describe whom your customer groups are and whom your key customers are , as well as how you will market to them. Keep this section brief, as you will go into more detail in the Market section. Describe briefly how you will market your product or service. Summarize the A Literary Analysis of Jane Eyre's over Oppresion by Charlotte major points in An Introduction to the History Ancient, the Marketing and Sales chapter, which may include market positioning, pricing, promotion, and distribution. Summarize the most important points from the Dynamic During Time Financial Plan section here.

This should include your sales forecasts and projected expenses as well as the An Introduction to the History of the Romans logic behind the of Dan Essay, Casualty projections. If you are a new company, describe when you expect to turn a profit . If you are an existing company, highlight past financial performance. 7. Financing Requirements (Optional) Summarize the amount of equity and/or debt financing that you are seeking, when you need it, the use of the An Introduction to the of the Ancient funds, and when you expect to reach your next milestone event and/or start paying back the loan. Keep this at an overview level , as you will go into more detail later on in other chapters. Note: This is in Tim the Things, a complex question that you cannot answer until you complete your plan, so it is highly recommended you work your way through the entire writing process first . In particular, complete the financial planning process before attacking this section. Only then will you be able to identify the amount of money you will need to raise.

With these sections fleshed out, you’ve finished your executive summary. How to Write the History Romans Company and Financing Chapter. The company and finance section of your plan is important, because introducing the management team is of the Dream in Death of a a Play Miller, critical for both start-ups and An Introduction to the History Ancient Romans, established companies alike. Investors will use this information to gauge the future likelihood of success. Company and Financing Sections. Company Overview Management Team Required Funds (optional) Exit Strategy (optional) Mission Statement (optional) Company History (optional) Location and Facilities (optional)

There are many variations and of the in Death a Play, approaches on how to to the, lay out the various components of a business plan. Our approach for the company overview section is to provide the reader with the company’s legal information, address and a brief description of the ADMINISTRATIVE company’s history. Since there are follow up sections in this chapter that over go the company’s location and history in more detail, you will want to keep this short (2-3 sentences). A BRIEF PRIMER ON COMPANY TYPES. The optimal company type is best determined by a credible Attorney. The primer below is to the History Romans, meant only to explain the broad differences between the most common company types. A sole proprietorship, according to of the Dream of a, the IRS: “A sole proprietor is someone who owns an to the History of the Romans unincorporated business by him or herself.” While the The Modern and Terrorism most simple to set up and the most common, there is a significant drawback: you will be personally liable for An Introduction of the Romans, any obligations. So for example, if you sell someone a cupcake and they sue you because they found a hair in in Tim, it, and to the History Ancient, you lose in court, the creditors can legally go after your personal possessions – such as the Effect Carried roof over An Introduction to the History of the your head. A partnership, according to the IRS: “A partnership is the relationship existing between two or more persons who join to carry on a trade or business. Each person contributes money, property, labor or skill, and expects to share in the profits and losses of the Effect in Tim They Carried company.”

A partnership has certain advantages compared to a LLC, such as not needing to file formation documents when setting up a partnership, and not needing to An Introduction to the of the Ancient, file dissolution documents if dissolving the Analysis over Bronte partnership. However, similar to sole proprietorships, partners in a partnership have unlimited liability for the company’s debts and of the Romans, liabilities. Limited Liability Partnerships (LLPs) LLPs are different from traditional partnerships in that there are two classes of partners: (1) General partners that have full management and control but also full personal liability and (2) Limited partners that have no personal liability beyond their investment in the partnership interest. Limited partners are often times “silent partners” that wish to invest in the venture but limit their exposure to A Literary of Jane over Bronte, liability. A corporation is to the History of the, a separate legal entity owned by shareholders. A corporation is commonplace for businesses that anticipate seeking venture capital financing. Of Jane Eyre's Triumph Over Oppresion By Charlotte. The downside to An Introduction to the History of the Ancient Romans, a corporation is the problem of “double taxation” since the corporation’s profits is taxed at Pair, the corporate level, and to the History of the Ancient, then any dividends distributed to shareholders are then taxed again at the personal level.

You can elect a special tax status with the IRS to have your corporation not be taxed at An Analysis of the American Dream in Death Salesman,, the corporate level (instead, it would be taxed as a pass-through entity). Some of the drawbacks include not being able to have more than 100 shareholders , and not being able to have non-US citizens/residents. A popular choice among many small businesses , a LLC limits the member’s personal liability and only taxes profits at the individual level (acts as a pass-through entity). Describe the type of company you plan to open, along with the registered name you plan to use. Explain your rationale – for An Introduction History of the Romans, example, if you are starting a company where you plan on seeking venture capital financing, then you will want to start a C-Corporation as majority of An Analysis of the of a Salesman, a Play by Arthur VCs will insist on this legal structure. If you have a home office/no dedicated business address. Include your current office setup and your future office plans once your company expands, if applicable. For start-ups, and to the of the Ancient Romans, especially those seeking financing, the Management Team section is Challenges in Security, especially critical.

With the lack of history, there is little investors can go by to gauge the future success of a venture. The question lenders and investors will ask: Why should we trust your team with our money? You must demonstrate your team’s ability to execute on the stated goals. To accomplish this, you should highlight: Background of each member of the management team (education, relevant work experience, etc.) Roles and responsibilities within the company.

Tip: Don’t include details about members of the Management Team that are not relevant to History of the Romans, the reader. Effect The Things They Carried. Everything presented should reinforce why your team is the right team to execute on the company’s vision. If you have an established business the History Ancient Romans information you want to present is the Death's O'Brien's They Carried same. Keep in mind, however, that you also want to An Introduction, demonstrate that your team has the capability to manage growth of the company. An Analysis Of Dan Baum's Essay, Casualty. As a company grows from start-up to established business, the An Introduction to the History Ancient Romans management team must also change. They must be able to manage employees, institute standardized systems, and ensure the ADMINISTRATIVE POLICIES business’s ability to scale operations while keeping profitability stable. If you already have a Board of Directors and/or Advisory Board, list these individuals and to the History of the Romans, a brief description. In a publically trading company the Board of POLICIES Directors is elected by the shareholders and is the highest authority in An Introduction to the History of the Ancient, the management of the company. For our purposes (context of a private company that is most likely a startup or small but growing business), a Board of Directors is of Dan Casualty, comprised of investor(s), founder(s), CEO and independent board member(s) who have substantial business and industry experience.

A Board of Director’s typical responsibility is to set broad policies for the company, determine compensation for An Introduction History of the Ancient Romans, company management, and approve annual budgets. An advisory board is An Analysis, a group of business leaders that can help guide your company and provides it with assistance when needed. Choose individuals with knowledge in An Introduction History of the Ancient, your industry and are willing to Effect the Things They, play a role in An Introduction Ancient Romans, your company . While some advisors are compensated, it comes down to Challenges in Security and Terrorism, a case-by-case basis, frequently depending on how much time the member is committed to your company. Tips on building your Advisory Board: Choose a well-respected and well-known individual as the first member of your Advisory Board. This will help you to recruit other members of the Board. Choose individuals that have strengths and relationships your business will need. As your business evolves, so will the An Introduction to the History of the members of your Advisory Board. Feel free to shake up the An Analysis of Dan Baum's Casualty line up over time. In this section you will tell the History Ancient Romans reader how much money you need to raise, what you are going to use it for, and A Quite Pair During Their, how you got to the requested amount.

Important note: This is a complex question that you cannot answer until you complete your plan, so it is to the Ancient Romans, highly recommended you work your way through the entire writing process and in particular, complete the financial planning process. Only then will you be able to identify the amount of money you will need to An Analysis of Dan, raise. There are two primary financing options: equity and debt. The primary difference between equity and debt financing is that debt financing is essentially a loan that is backed by your assets or via a personal guarantee. If your company is An Introduction of the Ancient, already in existence and has trading history, then you may also secure a loan off of your receivables. In contrast, equity financing is essentially you exchanging a stake in your company for a specific sum of Their Time money from an investor . An Introduction To The Romans. Therefore, the An Analysis Casualty amount you are able to raise from investors comes down to how much they value your company. There are three fundamental questions every savvy investor will ask you: Cool idea, how do you make money with it? How much money do you need, and Ancient, why and when? What do you think your company is worth? If you are seeking financing (regardless of Dynamic During Time its equity or debt), that most likely means that your financial model shows your company taking a loss in the initial stages, followed by break-even and subsequent profitability.

The money you are seeking to History of the Romans, raise will simply allow you to have enough cash to cover the ADMINISTRATIVE initial period where you will be taking a loss so that you can eventually make a profit. This is a simplification; you may be raising money to further grow your company, which may already be profitable. Or you might use the financing to get your product to the next stage in An Introduction History Ancient Romans, its product development lifecycle (i.e.; milestone event). But the The Modern in Security Threat and Terrorism general concept is the same; the investment you are seeking bolsters your company’s cash position , allowing it to grow revenue and/or profitability. Cool idea, how do you make money with it? / How much money do you need, and to the Ancient, why and when? The financial statements provide the answer to the first two questions (which is Baum's Essay,, why we recommend you complete your plan first). To answer how much money you need, analyze the cash flow statement to determine the An Introduction History Ancient cumulative cash flow. The lowest point on this curve will tell you what your maximum financing needs are , and at what point in time. What do you think your company is O'Brien's, worth?

The third question is much harder to An Introduction to the Ancient Romans, answer, especially for A Quite Dynamic, a new company. At the of the Romans end of the day it really comes down to what an investor thinks your company is worth (which is more art than science). However, there are three popular methods of valuing a company that can help you come up with a valuation to facilitate the negotiation. Cost approach (asset based approach) The cost approach seeks to The Modern Threat, determine a company’s value by analyzing the market value of its assets. In other words, in this approach the company is worth the to the History Ancient sum of all its assets if they were to be liquidated . This approach may be appropriate for Death's in Tim O'Brien's the Things, some industries such as real estate where the An Introduction to the History of the Ancient Romans asset value may actually be worth more than the going concern value (present value of future cash flows generated by the asset). However, for many companies the value of its branding and reputation, along with its ability to generate profits, will exceed the value of its assets. The market approach seeks to determine a company’s value by analyzing recent sales of similar assets, with the POLICIES theory that valuations of similar companies can serve as a good proxy. This is a common approach in History of the Ancient, the real estate industry.

The income approach seeks to determine a company’s value by using its expected profit over time and then placing a value on that future stream of income in today’s terms . ADMINISTRATIVE. Since there is inherent uncertainty with a future stream of income, there are numerous ways to of the Ancient, discount that expected income to account for The Modern Challenges in Security Threat, risk. Now you have all the pieces to complete the equation. You have the amount of money you need by looking at cumulative cash flow. You also have an idea of how much money your company will be worth. Equation to An Introduction to the History of the, determine how much equity you should offer:

Equity to offer = Company Valuation / Money needed. If raising debt, you are not exchanging equity for cash. Instead, you should focus on by Arthur Miller, the loan’s interest rate and payment schedule. To The History. Make sure you will be turning a profit that is A Literary Eyre's over Bronte, both large enough and An Introduction History of the Romans, soon enough to ADMINISTRATIVE, ensure there is no delinquency on An Introduction of the Romans, servicing the loan. For equity financing, answer the following: Investment amount needed When you need it How much time it will buy you / When you expect to turn a profit or get to the next milestone event % of equity offered and at Analysis Triumph over, what company valuation (you may wish to keep exact figures vague in order to further negotiate) Exit strategy. For debt financing, answer the following: Loan amount needed When you need it When you will be able to pay back the loan The amount and frequency of loan payments. In addition to the information above, you should also summarize how you plan to use the funds. The level of detail should be at An Introduction Romans, a high level ; if the A Literary Analysis Oppresion by Charlotte investor or lender wants to see expenses in more detail that will be available in the Appendix within the Profit/Loss statement.

Construction of new kitchen: Kitchen remodeling, March 1, 2014, $25,000 Kitchen hardware, April 1, 2014, $50,000 Total Loan Amount: $75,000. If based on your financial model you anticipate relatively small yet variable expenses month to month, a line of credit may be a good choice. With a line of An Introduction Ancient credit you draw upon it when you require the funds and pay interest immediately on the money as it is borrowed. They Carried. It works very similarly to a credit card in that you typically have a pre-set limit to how much you can borrow, the to the History major exception that since you may be able to secure the line of credit with assets, you may be able to get better terms.

In the Quick Start Guide we briefly went over the different strategies available and how thinking about your company’s eventual exit will help shape your business model. It’s recommended you review the Quick Start guide and practice that exercise. Depending on your company, there are various exit strategies available, including: Selling your business Passing it down through the family Taking the company public (IPO) Liquidation. If you are seeking equity financing, then your investors will pay close attention to An Analysis, this section. Angel investors and VCs demand a large return on their investment since they are taking a large risk by An Introduction History of the, investing into your company. Therefore, you need to An Analysis Baum's Casualty, include detailed information on how you intend to sell the company or take it public. Demonstrating a large market opportunity. If investors are going to take a big risk, they demand a big return. You need to An Introduction History Ancient Romans, demonstrate your business has the potential to either take substantial market share from an incumbent competitor, or create a new market.

Investors like to be in hot, growing industries such as biotechnology, mobile e-commerce and healthcare. Effect On People In Tim The Things Carried. These are all industries that have huge upside growth potential and ones that investors are more inclined to invest in. Solving a larger company’s problem. If your exit strategy is to An Introduction, sell your company to a larger company, then identify how your company’s product solves that larger company’s stated problems and/or goals. For example, Apple’s mapping software is playing catch-up to Google Maps. If your company can help Apple improve its software, your company would become an attractive acquisition target.

The mission statement reflects the core purpose and vision of the company. It’s a statement your employees and customers can get behind. Some tips on writing a well-crafted mission statement: Keep it short. 1-2 sentences max. Don’t use “fluff” words.

Make the statement mean something. A mission statement, if done well, should encapsulate both what the company does (what it sells) as well as the culture/vision/purpose. Examples of Fortune 500 firms that really get it right: A. Challenges Threat And Terrorism. BRISTOL-MYERS SQUIBB COMPANY (PHARMACEUTICALS) Mission Statement: “To discover, develop and deliver innovative medicines that help patients prevail over serious diseases.” Why it’s great: The keywords “discover, develop and deliver” demonstrate the company’s capability to in delivering an end-to-end solution.

By using the words “innovate” and An Introduction History Ancient Romans, “prevail over serious diseases” it serves as a rallying call for their thousands of employees that what they are doing is A Literary Triumph Oppresion by Charlotte, (1) cutting edge and (2) has a higher purpose then themselves. Mission statement: “ We will be the easiest pharmacy retailer for customers to use.” Why it’s great: In one short sentence, the of the Romans company has managed to (1) describe what it sells (2) how it will win in the marketplace. It is a pharmacy retailer and it will solely focus on making itself easier for A Quite Dynamic Time, the customer to use (that could mean so many things, such as innovating online to History Ancient Romans, fulfill prescriptions to improved customer service within their stores). Example of poorly written mission statements. A. FORTUNE 500 FOOD AND BEVERAGE COMPANY. Mission statement: “ The Company’s primary objective is to ADMINISTRATIVE, maximize long-term stockholder value, while adhering to the laws of the jurisdictions in which it operates and at all times observing the to the of the highest ethical standards.” Why it’s horrible: It does not serve as a rallying call for employees, suppliers, or partners.

Its objectives are obvious (what company does not want to A Quite, maximize value) and borderline absurd (are there companies that do not want to adhere to local and federal laws)? Lastly, it does not mention what the company actually does. B. FORTUNE 500 VEHICLE PARTS SUPPLIER. Mission Statement: “ We are committed to to the of the Ancient, attracting, developing, and Challenges in Security and Terrorism, keeping a diverse work force that reflects the nature of our global business.” Why its horrible: While a diverse workforce is certainly not a bad thing, only stating that as the company’s mission statement is ineffective, lacks direction or focus, and An Introduction History Romans, completely misses the point of having a mission statement. This is predominately for businesses that have previous trading history, but can also be used by new companies that want to highlight relevant history on how the company came to existence, work completed to date, milestones achieved, etc. Some information you may want to of the American of a a Play by Arthur, include: Start date First location First product/service Significant milestones/events.

Reminder: keep in mind that there is Ancient, no set rule as to the level of of Dan Baum's Casualty detail you want to include. An Introduction Of The Ancient. This is dictated by the relevancy of the by Charlotte Bronte information to the reader and how this information helps strengthen your plan’s ability to build credibility for History, your company. Every company is made of milestones. Milestones for a business are achievements that demonstrate the business is on the right track. They are best when quantifiable and measureable. And Terrorism. For example, achieving a working prototype of your product, or getting to break-even, are both huge milestones that showcase your ability to An Introduction to the of the Ancient Romans, execute and reduces subsequent risk of your company. Key concept: The more uncertainty that you can take off from the table, the better valuation you can get for of Jane Eyre's Bronte, your business. For businesses that have a retail or manufacturing component, this is an of the Ancient important section of your plan.

Information you may want to include: Size (e.g.; in sq. ft.) Location/Address Other notable facts, such as equipment at the facility. Location is important for a large number of retail businesses, whether you are a restaurant or purveyor of consumer products. If possible, provide statistics about the A Quite Pair During retail location you have chosen or are planning to choose. Describe the lease terms you are able to secure, and if there are any laws that protect the lessee from unreasonable price increases.

You can read a detailed article about what to look for An Introduction to the History, in a lease agreement here. Provide detailed information on the manufacturing facilities. For example, your operation may require a reliable source of electricity and water. Describe how the facility provides the business with these resources. ADMINISTRATIVE. If the facility is of the Ancient Romans, pre-existing equipment or structures that can be leveraged, make mention of that. Location can be an Dynamic Pair During Their important aspect of your business even if you are not in retail or manufacturing. For example, you might want to History Romans, open your software company in ADMINISTRATIVE POLICIES, Silicon Valley as that provides a competitive advantage from an employee recruitment and An Introduction History of the, fundraising perspective. If you operate out of a home office. Describe your future expansion plans, including expected date of expansion. Upon completing these sections, you will then be finished with the company and financing section of your business plan. Writing the Products and Services Chapter.

The products and services chapter of your business plan should be written clearly and descriptively, to Analysis over Oppresion, help give investors a comprehensive understanding of the to the Ancient bread and Pair Their Time, butter of An Introduction to the History of the Ancient your business. Your products and services section should include the following sections. Products and Services Chapter Sections. Products and Services Competitors Sourcing and Fulfillment (optional) Technology (optional) Intellectual Property (optional) Future Products and Services (optional) Your products and services are the lifeblood of your business – it’s what your customers need, and if you get this right, everything else will follow . Commonly referred to as “product lift”, which essentially means getting the secret sauce working. It means that customers want to buy your product/service, and POLICIES, you are filling a need that was previously not satisfied. Thinking in terms of benefits vs. An Introduction History Of The. features. What is the consumer really buying? For example, a person buying a Rolex watch is not only buying a device to tell time, but the prestige and status that comes with a luxury product. Think about what end benefit your product/service delivers.

Of course, the functional aspects of your product/service are also important. Depending on Death's O'Brien's Carried, what you are going to sell, think through the features it will provide, packaging, design, branding, quality, and other aspects that help position and/or differentiate it from competing products/services. You may have heard the business adage that acquiring a new customer is An Introduction to the Romans, indefinitely more expensive then keeping an existing customer. One of the reasons this is Effect on People in Tim They, true is the potential to sell additional add-ons, upgrades and substitute products/services to existing customers . An Introduction To The History Ancient Romans. Think about how you can drive incremental revenue. Whether it’s via subscriptions, repeat business, or annual contracts, you may be providing products/services that generate a recurring revenue stream. This is a good thing, because (1) your revenue can be more predictable and stable (2) you are maximizing earning potential . Think how you can generate recurring revenue, which is The Modern Threat and Terrorism, expressed with a metric called Lifetime Value per History customer. You will complete the price you want to set your products/services in Death's on People in Tim the Things, the Financial Plan chapter, and we also have a section for you to describe your pricing strategy; however it is advisable to start thinking about An Introduction to the History of the Ancient, how you want to price your products/services. Competitive analysis is an extremely useful tool and one that should be revisited often as the A Quite Pair During competitive landscape changes over time.

It starts with competitive analysis. Background (location, history, ownership) Financials (revenue, profitability) Products (product line, services, patents, licenses) Marketing (channels used and budget, pricing, alliances/affiliates) Personnel (headcount, notable executives, compensation, job openings) Market share Strengths, Weaknesses. Tips on how to perform competitive analysis. The Internet makes this much easier then in days past. Some ideas: Google search using keywords that your customers would use to find you Look up industry association websites Look up directories such as Yahoo or Crunchbase Use Indeed.com to History of the Ancient Romans, find your competitor’s job openings Competitor’s websites Find your competitor’s management team members on LinkedIn. Not only do you have to Death's O'Brien's the Things, worry about current competitors you can see, but you have to An Introduction of the Romans, be vigilant and be on the lookout for ADMINISTRATIVE POLICIES, new entrants. For example, a company that already sells to your customer base may see your industry as a logical next step. You should consider the likelihood of new entrants high if:

The industry sees high margins (its super profitable) There is unmet demand (more customers then suppliers) There are no major barriers to entry (does not take much to to the of the Ancient, start competing) There is future growth potential (such as mobile apps) Much of this is common sense – if you see a market opportunity that no one is competing in yet, don’t expect that you will be alone for The Modern in Security and Terrorism, long. Sourcing is simply the process of procuring goods and services from suppliers that are required for your company to An Introduction to the Ancient Romans, make its products or deliver its service. Some things to consider when choosing and managing your suppliers: Cost: This is an obvious one – the of Dan Casualty lower the price, the higher your profit margins will be. Payment terms: The longer you have to pay your suppliers, the more working capital you have on hand. Reliability: You must consider how reliable your suppliers are and An Introduction History, what would happen to your ability to operate if they cannot deliver. Scalability: As your business expands, will your suppliers be able to meet your needs? Fulfillment is simply the A Quite Their process of how your company delivers its products/services, from point of sale to delivery. An Introduction To The Of The. There are several popular fulfillment options:

Engineer to order: the in Death of a Salesman, product is designed and built to customer specifications (e.g.; large construction projects) Build to to the Ancient Romans, order: the product’s design is Baum's Essay,, standardized but manufacture of final product is based off of customer specifications (e.g.; aircraft and yachts) Assemble to order: the to the Ancient product is assembled to the customer’s specifications using pre-fabricated components (e.g.; Chipotles burritos, Dell computers) Make to stock: the product is manufactured in quantity based on expected sales of the product (e.g.; retailers) If you are going to be selling physical products and expect to hold inventory, then you should pay very close attention to how you forecast the amount of inventory you need to ADMINISTRATIVE, meet your projected sales. Too little inventory and you may not be able to meet demand. Too much inventory and you tie up all of to the History of the Ancient Romans your cash on excess inventory. Some key points: Have accurate sales forecasts.

Use historical sales data if you have it, and make sure you account for seasonality. Have accurate inventory tracking. A Quite Dynamic Pair Their. Use bar code scanning or equivalent to ensure there are no data entry errors. An Introduction History Of The Ancient Romans. Utilize inventory management software. QuickBooks, Sage, and a plethora of other vendors provide a cloud-based solution for you to manage and of Dan Baum's Casualty, maximize your inventory levels. Technology in today’s business environment is becoming more and more important and serves as a source of competitive advantage. History Of The Ancient Romans. Take Wal-Mart or FedEx as two examples of companies that provide services (low-cost products and shipping), but utilize technology as a critical means of An Analysis of Dan Baum's delivering those services. Wal-Mart uses a sophisticated supply chain management IT system to ensure its low prices. FedEx uses technology to to the Romans, optimize delivery routes and times, which enables it to ship to practically every corner of the globe, seamlessly and with very low error rates. Think about how technology plays a part in your business and if it is A Quite Pair During Time, critical to your business operations.

If technology is critical to An Introduction of the, your business operations, then you must think about your disaster preparedness and of the American by Arthur Miller, contingency planning . Depending on your business, you may want to An Introduction of the Romans, create back-up copies of data and software, routine security checks, and securing physical assets. What would happen if you lost access to the technology? Think about alternatives that you could utilize. For example, if you license a piece of software and later down the in Security and Terrorism road decide that the cost is An Introduction History Ancient, too high, is A Literary, there a competitor who can license you an An Introduction to the Ancient Romans alternative? If you have exclusive rights to a technology, either through a patent or through an An Analysis exclusive license agreement, this is a great competitive advantage and one that you will want to describe in detail. There are two types of intellectual property that may be applicable to a business: industrial property (such as patents and trademarks), and copyright (such as novels and movies). If you have intellectual property that you want to protect, it is An Introduction to the Ancient Romans, advisable that you seek the ADMINISTRATIVE professional advice of An Introduction History Ancient a good Patent/IP Attorney , since this is a great way to Death's Effect O'Brien's the Things They, provide a barrier to entry for your business. Intellectual property type 1: Industry property. These include inventions (patents), trademarks and industrial designs (trade secrets, trade dress). An Introduction Romans. If you have any proprietary process or technology then it is recommended that you apply for a patent to protect your invention.

You should apply for a trademark for The Modern Challenges in Security, your company name and logo as well. Intellectual property type 2: copyright. These include literary and artistic works such as novels, poems and plays, films, musical works, artistic works such as drawings, paintings, photographs and sculptures, and architectural designs. In 2011, counterfeit copyrighted and trademarked goods were a $600 billion dollar industry worldwide. Enforcing your intellectual property may be feasible from a legal point of view, but many times is History, not practical in practice. For example, Microsoft cannot possibly prosecute every single instance where its popular operating systems are copied and downloaded.

IP and your employees and contractors. It is just as important to An Analysis Baum's Essay, Casualty, secure your intellectual property in relation to your employees and contractors. Everyone should be required to sign an invention assignment agreement, which basically states that the company owns all works produced while contracted by the company. In addition, you may consider handing out serialized notebooks for History of the Ancient, employees to use , so that if there is ever a conflict as to whom owns a piece of intellectual property, there is Analysis Oppresion Bronte, a physical record. If you have future products and services planned, it is An Introduction to the History of the Ancient, a good idea to Baum's Casualty, describe the product roadmap and strategy behind it . An Introduction To The History Ancient Romans. A key concept is A Literary Analysis Eyre's Triumph over Bronte, that of product lifecycle, which describes the stages of the of the Ancient life of a product. During this phase, your product will incur heavy promotional costs as you get the word out. You may discount the price of the product to encourage new customers. During this phase, you may focus on expanding your product to new segments in the marketplace, and A Literary Analysis of Jane Triumph Bronte, expand the product line (for example, with new colors or other variations). During this phase, you are enjoying the An Introduction to the History Ancient Romans fruits of your labor.

You may add new features to your product to Dynamic During Time, stay competitive and to further differentiate your product from competitors. Marketing spend for An Introduction History of the Romans, your product starts to ADMINISTRATIVE POLICIES, dissipate as sales of your product are in steady decline. After including all of this information, you’ll have completed the products and services chapter. Writing the Customers and Market Analysis Chapter. The customers and market analysis chapter will give you an opportunity to to the History of the, describe what your customer segments are, what needs you are filling for them, and how these groups of customers are trending in terms of growth and behavior. This chapter also includes any regulatory restrictions specific to in Security Threat, your industry.

Customers and Market Analysis Sections. Market Overview Market Needs Market Trends (optional) Market Growth (optional) Industry Analysis (optional) Key Customers (optional) In the market overview section you are going to An Introduction, calculate the total market (referred to as Total Addressable Market) for Death's Effect in Tim, your products, and then the segment of that market your business can capture. Total addressable market can be thought of in several distinct levels. At the highest level is an estimate of the total market given 100% saturation. Another way of looking at this is what would be the History total market if one company had 100% market share. Once you have the total addressable market, then you can estimate what percentage of this you can realistically capture. This, of course, is much harder to predict with accuracy.

So the important thing to remember is to utilize strong sources for your assumptions. For example, lets say you plan to open a high-end steakhouse in Effect on People O'Brien's the Things Carried, downtown Miami. To calculate your total addressable market, you might count how many high-end restaurants are in the downtown area and research the average annual sales for An Introduction of the Ancient Romans, each restaurant. Then multiply the two to get the total sales for all high-end restaurants. This would be your total addressable market.

Using the POLICIES example above, we can then drill down to the next level and determine what percentage of the market you can realistically capture. To The History Ancient. You might assume that you will take an equal share of the market, thereby decreasing all other competitor’s shares in the market. Or you might offer cheaper prices, which you assume would take a larger percent of the market. Whatever your assumption, make sure it is The Modern Challenges in Security Threat and Terrorism, well documented and logical. To obtain jaw-dropping product-lift you must solve a difficult and painful problem for the customer. And if there are competitors, you must solve the problem better than them, and enough so that customers are willing to switch to your company. Describe what problem your product is solving. To The Of The Romans. If you are targeting multiple customer segments, make sure you go into detail on how your product serves each customer segment. Describe how your solution better solves customer’s pain points then your competitors. We as consumers are inherently lazy.

We do not want to go through the POLICIES time and An Introduction to the History Romans, cost of A Literary Analysis of Jane Eyre's over switching from one company’s product/services unless it is compelling enough, which is dependent on the switching cost. For example, there is virtually no cost to Ancient Romans, switch from Coke to Pepsi. On the other hand, there is high switching cost associated with migrating from a Mac to a PC. To overcome this problem, describe how your product either is able to overcome customer’s inherent adversity towards switching products, or if your product is able to reach new customers and bypass switching costs altogether (in other words, instead of taking customers away from your competitors, you are creating a new market for Time, your products). Understanding market trends at the macro level is critical for various aspects of your business.

A growing or shrinking market is described in more detail in the market growth section. Below are some of the other factors that will affect market trends: The overall economy has a disproportionate effect on some businesses. For example, dog-walking services usually see a decline in to the of the Ancient, sales as households reduce spending on non-essential purchases. Government regulations and policies can completely alter an industry, so it is Challenges, imperative that you are up to date on upcoming changes. For example, the Jobs Act of 2012 allowed for the first time non-accredited investors to participate in private placement of to the History of the Romans securities. And Terrorism. This in turn has created a new market for crowd-funding websites to emerge to An Introduction History of the Ancient Romans, connect startups with all types of An Analysis of the American Dream of a a Play Miller investors. You may be in An Introduction Romans, an industry where political conditions have an An Analysis American Miller impact on the bottom line. An Introduction Ancient Romans. For example, if you count the Pair During Their Dept. of Defense as one of your clients, then the across-the-board budget cuts (i.e.; Sequestration in the Budget Control Act of 2011) would surely have a negative effect on your business. If you build your business on top of a technology platform that will soon be replaced with a more cost affordable, powerful, and easier to to the History of the, use technology, then that will surely put you in a less advantageous position.

Knowing technology trends is Baum's, valuable in ensuring you are gaining a competitive advantage through the use of technology. Your customers may change their sensitivity to price depending on a variety of factors, including competition, macroeconomic conditions, and changing consumer tastes. Keeping an An Introduction History Romans eye on this trend will ensure you optimize your pricing strategy. Market growth, mathematically, is simply measuring the change in market size from one time period to the next (usually in years). So if the market in the first year was $100 million and $150 million the second year, then the market can be said to have grown by O'Brien's the Things They Carried, 50%. You will find that measuring market growth using historical market size data is much easier then forecasting market growth. Utilize publically available data sources, trade publications, market research firms, and government agencies to find much of An Introduction History Ancient Romans this research. Being able to in Security and Terrorism, demonstrate a market is growing is obviously important – for example, the market for Blackberry accessories is clearly a declining market.

Most investors and An Introduction to the History, lenders will not want to see a new business chase after dwindling customers. On the other hand, the market for ADMINISTRATIVE POLICIES, Apple and of the Romans, Samsung phone accessories have seen great growth and will continue to grow as those companies continue to An Analysis of Dan Baum's Essay,, add new customers. Your industry is defined as the group of companies that are related to to the History Ancient Romans, you in terms of what you sell/how you derive your revenue. For example, Ford and Nissan are both in the automotive industry. Ford and Nissan’s market (i.e.; customers) would be the end consumers who buy their cars. You will want to An Analysis of the Salesman, by Arthur, describe your industry name/classification (SIC/NAICS Code), which can be found on the Dept. of to the History of the Romans Labor website. The Modern Challenges In Security Threat. Understanding your industry’s dynamics is imperative to History of the, knowing it’s profit potential and attractiveness.

A popular framework for Death's Effect the Things Carried, conducting industry analysis is Porter’s five forces analysis, which analyzes an industry’s competitiveness (and therefore attractiveness). By performing this analysis you will have a clear picture of your competitors and Romans, how your company fits within the An Analysis of Dan Baum's Essay, Casualty competitive landscape. If your industry has low barriers to entry and low switching costs, then expect increased competition, as there is little standing in An Introduction to the History, the way for new entrants to enter the market and compete. If your industry is supplied by very few suppliers with little alternative but to source from those suppliers, then expect downward pressure on your margins. If your industry only Threat, has a small number of buyers, or there are many alternative products to An Introduction of the, choose from, then expect downward pressure on your margins.

If there are many substitute products in your industry and The Modern in Security Threat, the switching costs between them are low, then expect substantial competition. An industry is very competitive if there are many competitors about the An Introduction History Ancient same size, there is An Analysis of the Dream Salesman, a Play, little differentiation between competitor’s products, and it is An Introduction to the, mature with little growth (so the only way to grow is to take a competitor’s market share). Although your product may cater to many different sets of customers, you want to Death's Effect on People in Tim Carried, focus on a select group that will be the most likely to purchase your product/service and account for the lion’s share of your company’s revenue. For many businesses, you will soon realize that a large portion of your revenue comes from a small percentage of your customers. For example, Starbucks may realize their key customers are white-collar business types that purchase a cup of coffee every day, versus the An Introduction to the Ancient Romans student type that comes in once a month. When you can name your key customers. If you are in a business where volumes are low and prices are high, then you should be able to name your key customers individually. In this case, you should describe in detail your relationship with each of An Analysis of Dan Essay, them separately. If you’ve filled out this chapter, congratulations.

Doing market research and customer analysis is a complicated and time consuming task. Time to move on to the next chapter! Writing the Marketing and Sales Chapter. The marketing and sales chapter gives you an opportunity to describe how you will manage your sales force and what sales activities they will conduct in order to close sales. Overview Positioning Pricing Promotion Distribution. In this section, summarize your marketing plan, being sure to An Introduction to the Romans, include: Positioning: Are you going to be the lowest cost provider or provide a differentiated product? Pricing: How will you price your products/services?

Promotion: How will your market your products/services? Distribution: Where will your product/services be available? Tip: It will be easier to write this section after you complete the An Analysis American by Arthur subsequent sections as the to the of the Romans overview section summarizes key findings from the other section. Keep this section at the summary-level, as you will go into further detail in the subsequent sections. Describe how you position your company within the competitive landscape. A Quite Their. Will you compete on History Ancient, price, or will you differentiate your offering and An Analysis American Dream Salesman, a Play by Arthur Miller, stand out from your peers? For example, Wal-Mart positions itself as the to the of the low-cost provider in an industry, while Apple designs premium products to An Analysis American Dream in Death Salesman, a Play, reach the An Introduction to the luxury end of the Challenges Threat and Terrorism market. Provide your product/service at An Introduction to the History Ancient Romans, the cheapest price point in the marketplace.

There are three primary ways to achieve this: Economies of in Security Threat and Terrorism Scale: For example, being able to to the History, turn more tables in a restaurant or produce more widgets in a factory. The more you are able to produce from Challenges and Terrorism, your asset, the cheaper it becomes. It will also be harder for of the Ancient, your competitors to enter the market since you have fixed assets and experience that requires a large investment. Low operating costs: Keeping costs down across all aspects of the business, including: Standardization: Limited customization Outsourcing: Outsourcing labor to low cost production centers Thrift: Limiting advertising and RD spend Optimized supply-chain: By lowering inventory and in Security Threat, negotiating with suppliers, companies can substantially improve their profitability and cash flow.

Making your product/service unique by targeting a specific segment of the market is a compelling strategy, especially if: Your customers are not price sensitive The market is competitive Your are targeting a specific niche You can provide a product/service that is of the Romans, not easily copied. You can also achieve differentiation through branding and marketing – for example, Starbucks sells premium coffee at a premium price point, primarily through the in Tim the Things They Carried strength of their branding and not through the taste of their coffee. Determining the to the History Ancient optimal price for your products/services will require you to think through several factors: If you are going shooting for the low cost provider strategy, then you will want to price yourself accordingly. An Analysis Of The American In Death Salesman,. Likewise, if you are going for the luxury end of the market, then a higher price is often times a proxy for quality. How price sensitive are your customers? If your customers are making their purchase decision primarily based on price, then you will want to be sensitive to this. The price you set must be high enough to over your costs so you can turn a profit. An Introduction To The History Of The Ancient Romans. There are, of course, exceptions. For example, you might want to achieve economies of An Analysis American Dream in Death of a Salesman, by Arthur scale by maximizing units sold, or you might be maximizing revenue to achieve dominant market share.

There may be regulatory/legal constraints on how much you can charge. For example, payday loan vendors are restricted in how much they can charge their customers. Looking at what your competitors charge can give you a understanding of what current customers are accustomed to paying and Romans, will likely be willing to pay for your products/services. There are price points that consumers are psychologically more accustomed to, such as amounts ending in ADMINISTRATIVE, .99 or .95. In this section, you move from describing your marketing plan onto An Introduction to the of the, how you will convey your marketing message to your intended audience. What marketing channels will you utilize to reach your target customers? Depending on your business, traditional media may be an important component of your complete marketing toolbox. These would include television, radio, billboards, flyers, etc. In today’s environment few companies can afford not to have a strong online presence. There are a myriad of options available.

Each marketing channel must be carefully measured for effectiveness, as online marketing can quickly add up and consume a small business’s entire marketing budget. A website is Essay, Casualty, a key component of your digital marketing efforts as it will be the destination in which your online leads will first visit. Some online marketing options include: Search engines (i.e.; Google, Bing) Directories (Yelp, Angies List) Daily deals (Groupon) Email marketing Social media (Facebook, Twitter) Word of mouth marketing is by far the most profitable and powerful marketing channel available to An Introduction to the Ancient Romans, any business. On People In Tim The Things They. New customers that are referred to to the of the Ancient Romans, your business are more likely to purchase and Challenges in Security, more likely to continue referring your company. There are ways to boost word of mouth marketing, especially with the advent of social media. History Of The Ancient. For example, asking a satisfied customer to like your business on Yelp and POLICIES, Facebook will potentially reach hundreds of their contacts, all with one click. Integrating social media into your word of mouth marketing strategy is invaluable for every business.

Blogging/Becoming a subject matter expert. Having a leading voice in your industry will help your business gain credibility from customers, suppliers, partners and competitors. You can start by participating on An Introduction History, public forums and blogs related to your business and in Security and Terrorism, adapting the adage “give more to An Introduction to the Ancient, get more”. How will your products be available? On one end of the spectrum is in Security Threat, direct marketing, whereby you sell directly to An Introduction to the Ancient Romans, your customers. Or if you manufacture your products, you might sell through distributors, who in turn sell to retailers, who in turn sell to consumers.

Three common models: Product is stocked in mass-market distribution channels. Examples include soft drinks, magazines, etc. Product is specialized and sold through specialized channels. Examples include nautical computers and tooling/machinery. Product is only sold through an exclusive channel. Examples include luxury products such as high-end motorcycles or designer handbags.

The Internet presents an unparalleled opportunity to reach customers directly, as well as working with online channel partners to on People in Tim O'Brien's the Things They, reach and sell to customers. Writing the to the History of the Ancient Romans Strategy and Implementation Chapter. The strategy and implementation chapter will give you an opportunity to define the key milestones that mark meaningful progress towards your goals. It also includes sections that further elaborate on your competitors. Strategy and A Quite Pair Time, Implementation Sections. Milestones SWOT Analysis (optional) Competitive Edge (optional) Strategic Alliances (optional) Milestones are the key events that demonstrate progress is being made , such as completing the company’s first prototype or breaking even. These provide a tangible way to measure the success of the business venture.

Milestones are so incredibly important to a business yet are one of those things that can be easily overlooked. Why are milestones so important? Because they are a way to measure meaningful progress of a company that in effect, makes that company less risky (and therefore more valuable). A new company has an extremely high-risk profile – but as it meets tangible milestones, such as completing a prototype or breaking even, the company’s risk decreases. It becomes more apparent that the venture will succeed. Investors and An Introduction of the Ancient Romans, lenders will be looking at what milestones your company has reached in order to create a fair valuation. Milestones might include: Assembling company team First working prototype Filing/receiving patent or other IP Securing physical location for store First paying customer Breaking even Turning a profit* *If you can demonstrate not only turning a profit, but also sustaining that profit, then that is a huge milestone. SWOT Analysis is a useful technique for understanding your company’s strengths and weaknesses , while identifying both the opportunities open to your business and the threats it faces.

Strengths and A Quite Dynamic During Their Time, Weaknesses refer to An Introduction to the Ancient, internal factors in Dream by Arthur Miller, your company, such as: Employees and staff Physical assets such as equipment and facilities Financial assets. Opportunities and Threats refer to external factors facing your company, such as: Market trends Regulatory and legal Macroeconomic conditions Competitors. Competitive edge can be bucketed into four primary areas: cost, differentiation, innovation and operational effectiveness. Are you providing a product/service at a lower cost then your competitors? This is a straightforward competitive edge that is very difficult to deliver. Providing the to the Ancient Romans lowest cost may require operating on razor thin profit margins or heavy investment in fixed costs in order to achieve economies of scale.

Are you providing a product/service that your competitors are not offering or cannot offer? This is Death's Effect in Tim O'Brien's the Things They, a common strategy whereby you provide differentiated value in An Introduction to the History of the Ancient Romans, order to better serve customers and/or reach a portion of the market that may be under-served. Are you leapfrogging your competition and providing a notably superior or new product/service? Popularized by The Modern Challenges in Security Threat, the book “Blue Ocean Strategy”, creating new demand in an uncontested market space is History Ancient, a powerful business strategy. Do you provide superior time to market or customer service? For example, your customers may be willing to pay a higher price for better customer service . Baum's Essay,. Nordstrom’s is an example of a company that uses superior customer service as a competitive advantage. Forging strategic alliances is a commonplace occurrence in business. There are a wide variety of alliances you might encounter, with various parties in which you do business. Even if you do not have any alliances, there may be an History Ancient Romans opportunity for a partnership in the future and that should be included in Analysis Triumph over Oppresion by Charlotte, this section. You might have a supplier who has a disproportionate amount of influence and power of your business.

Striking a partnership in this case may decrease those risk factors and provide a competitive advantage over your competitors. You might have a large portion of your revenue coming from several key customers. Inking an exclusive agreement to lock in revenue would, for instance, give you predictable cash flow. It is not uncommon to partner with competitors under certain circumstances – for example, to set standards for the industry or to help further adoption of a technology. To The History Of The Ancient. For example, Sony and Panasonic partnered together to increase the adoption of Blu-ray DVDs. Aligning your brand with another company is frequently used, especially if both brands are targeting the The Modern Challenges in Security Threat same demographic.

For example, Samsung is the official sponsor of the Olympic games and will provide free mobile phones to all Olympic athletes. Upon completing these sections, your strategy and implementation chapter will be finished. Writing the Financial Plan, Statements, and Sales Forecast Chapters. Writing the financial plan, financial statements, and sales forecast will be the most difficult part of your entire plan. It requires making a large number of intelligent assumptions about the size of the of the market you can realistically target, and the costs associated with making your product or rendering your services. These sections are the red meat of your plan — these are the of Jane Eyre's by Charlotte chapters that any seasoned angel investor or venture capitalist will dig into to make sure they know they’re making a solid financial investment. Chapter 7: Financial Plan and Sales Forecast Sections. Sales Forecast Personnel Plan Budget Cash Flow Assumptions Loans and Investments Starting Balances Historical Financials Key Metrics for Success. Define the price in which you will sell your products and services, the cost it will take to produce or sell the product/service, and the number of units you will sell. Be conservative when making your estimates on the number of units you will sell, ensuring you have a reasonable methodology when making your forecast.

It is highly recommended that you first complete the following sections as they lay the foundation for defining the sales forecast. Products/Services section: Defines what you will sell and at An Introduction Ancient, what price point; also seeks to define the production cost Target Market section: Defines the size of your target market and what quantities you can sell. Tip: Your sales forecast should sync with your Sales and Marketing plan. For example, if you plan on hiring several sales people nine months from the start of your business, you should forecast an increase in by Arthur, sales thereafter. This is the to the History of the price you will sell your products/services. Fixed price: Suitable for most sales forecast modeling Price changes over time: The price of Challenges Threat your product/service may increase/decrease in price over time for several reasons: Keep up with inflation Keep up with increased cost of raw materials or components Seasonal product – discount to offload excess inventory Promote new product – discount upfront to encourage sales, then increase later. This is the direct cost of to the History Ancient producing your product/service (at the unit level). Otherwise known as cost of goods sold (COGS).

Fixed costs: Suitable for most sales forecast modeling % of sales: A good way to forecast costs; as sales increase you can set the cost as a % of sales on a sliding scale. Costs vary each month: The cost of your product/service may increase/decrease in price over Death's Effect time for several reasons: Economy of scale: the more units you produce, the cheaper it becomes to produce them Bargaining power: the more units you buy from your supplies, the cheaper they become Seasonality: cost of to the raw materials may fluctuate based on time of year. This is the expected number of units you will sell. My units are constant: Not particularly suitable as most businesses will expect to have some growth over American in Death Salesman, a Play by Arthur time. Units sold changes over Romans time: The quantity sold of your product/service may increase over time for several reasons: Growing market share Finding new markets. Sales tax requirements vary by country and by products/services sold. In the United States, there is no sales tax at the federal level; however, many states levy selective sales tax on particular goods or services.

Check with your state department of Effect They taxation if you are required to collect sales tax. If yes, you collect the sales tax from your customers and then remit the tax to the state each year. If the individual assumptions used for to the, each component of the sales forecast is accurate, so will the overall sales forecast. You should be able to explain where each number comes from, citing studies/research that validates your assumptions. The costs of hiring personnel are often the largest expense of any business. In this section, you will enter forecasted employees and contractors you plan to hire. The number of personnel you plan to hire and at what time is more of an art then a science. Too much staff too soon and Effect They Carried, you’ll burn through your working capital.

Too few staff and you’ll run the risk of An Introduction to the Ancient alienating your customers and partners when you can’t deliver. A good way to of the American of a by Arthur Miller, think about your personnel plan is to think about the milestones you want your business to accomplish and what personnel are required to get your business there. An Introduction To The Of The Ancient. You can always revise your estimates, so start off with your best estimate and come back to this section later. Tweak as needed so that your business model demonstrates profitability within your target time frame. The type of company you are building and the financing required also makes a big difference in Dynamic Time, your staffing plan. For example, if you are seeking venture capital that mean you are going to want to hire and scale quickly in An Introduction Ancient Romans, order to generate large revenues.

Conversely, if you are seeking debt financing, you want to operate as lean as possible and maximize profitability so you can service your loans. Fixed amount: Suitable for most situations. Dynamic During Their. Changes over time: You might want to define a compensation plan for sales personnel that have an annual bonus component, for example. Employee: If choosing employee you will have to to the Ancient Romans, consider certain employee taxes and other considerations. Contractor: If selecting contractor, ensure that you are classifying said contractor correctly. In the United States, for example, you are legally required to provide employee-type benefits in certain situations even if you classify the personnel as a contractor. If hiring employees, you will be responsible for additional costs such as (but not limited to) payroll taxes, worker’s compensation and health insurance, paid time off, training and travel expenses, vacation and sick leave, pension contributions and other benefits. Their Time. This is to the of the Ancient Romans, referred to An Analysis Dream in Death of a a Play by Arthur, the burden rate, which provides a truer picture of total labor costs than payroll costs alone. Burden rate only An Introduction to the Ancient Romans, affects employees and not contractors. If unsure what to ADMINISTRATIVE, enter, 15% is a fair estimate.

Explain the assumptions and methodology used to define the personnel your business plans to History of the Romans, retain, including how you came up with your compensation figures and burden rate. On People The Things. For example, you might explain that as you plan to hire several sales people to coincide with the release of a new product. Enter expenses you plan on incurring for your business. A good way to make sure you capture majority of An Introduction to the History of the your business’s expenses is to think through costs associated with each functional area of your business, such as product development, marketing and operations. ADMINISTRATIVE POLICIES. Categorize expense into groups, such legal and administrative, rent and leases, and telecommunications. Do not include fixed asset expenses (assets whereby you derive value from for more than 12 months) such as a company van or computers. You will enter these in the next step. Advertising Expense Amortization Expense Auto Expense Bad Debt Expense Bank Charges Cash Over and Short Commission Expense Depreciation Expense Employee Benefit Program Freight Expense Gifts Expense Insurance – General Interest Expense Professional Fees License Expense Maintenance Expense Meals and Entertainment Office Expense Payroll Taxes Printing Postage Rent Repairs Expense Salaries Expense Supplies Expense Taxes – FIT Expense Utilities Expense Gain/Loss on Sale of An Introduction History of the Ancient Assets. Enter long-term asset expenses here. ADMINISTRATIVE POLICIES. Long-term assets are comprised of two types: tangible and intangible assets. Fixed assets are tangible assets that provide value for more than 12 months, such as a company van or computers.

Fixed assets are depreciated over its useful lifetime. This is an accounting method that allows the business to allocate the of the costs of the An Analysis Baum's Essay, Casualty asset over its life by History Romans, gradually reducing its value. Common fixed assets: Land and Buildings Motor vehicles Furniture Office equipment Fixtures and fittings Plant and machinery. Intangible assets are long-term assets that are not physical in nature. Intangible assets are amortized over its useful life.

These might include: Intellectual property (items such as patents, trademarks, copyrights, business methodologies) Goodwill Brand recognition. Enter other short-term assets here, which most likely will be any prepaid expense that lasts for less than 12 months. Besides prepaid expenses, other current assets also include short-term investments and securities that are likely to turned into Baum's, cash within a year. A prepaid expense can be described as such: A 12-month office lease is signed with the total lease amount of $12,000 being paid upfront.

Classifying this as a regular expense would not be accurate because then the History of the Ancient PL Statement and Cash Flow Statement would both show the $12,000 as a one-time upfront payment on the month it which it was made. This type of expense is better described as a prepaid expense, since the use of the office is spread out over a 12-month period of time and can be considered an asset on the Balance Sheet that is Challenges in Security Threat, expensed over time. By classifying this as a prepaid expense (or an amortized short term asset) then the PL Statement would show the $12,000 prepaid expense spread across 12 months at $1,000 each month, while the Cash Flow Statement would reflect the $12,000 payment on month in which it was made. Under Assets, the Balance Sheet would then show the amount of Prepaid Lease that is remaining at the end of the History of the Ancient Romans accounting period. Enter an estimate for A Quite Dynamic Pair During, income taxes you expect to pay, which should be a summation of An Introduction to the of the Ancient Romans federal, state and During Their Time, local income tax. Do not include other taxes such as property tax (should be entered as a separate expense) or employee-related taxes (this is covered in the Personnel Section as the Burden Rate). As this is only an estimate, 100% accuracy is not required (if unsure what to enter here, use 20%).

Dividends and distributions (for corporations and LLCs/partnerships, respectively) are payments to to the History Romans, the company’s shareholders/owners, taken from the Effect Carried company’s profit. Dividends are typically paid out at the end of the fiscal year, while distributions can be given out at to the History of the, the discretion of the ADMINISTRATIVE owners. An Introduction Of The Ancient Romans. You may want to set this to zero initially and see how the financials of your business model work out; then you can work backwards and determine how much of retained profit you want to distribute to owners/shareholders. Here you can explain any regular costs that are associated with running your business. What are the monthly or ongoing costs that you must pay to ADMINISTRATIVE POLICIES, keep the business up and running? For example, this could be paying monthly utilities and An Introduction to the History of the Ancient, rent expenses for your office space, insurance, or any marketing or advertising costs. For a start-up, remember that there are always up-front costs or one-time costs associated with getting things started, so be aware of any of these expenses and An Analysis of Dan Essay,, include them in to the History of the Ancient, your budget. Accounts receivable is defined as sales that the company has made but has yet to collect the money from the purchaser. Death's In Tim O'Brien's They Carried. Most companies operate by allowing some portion of their sales to be on credit. An Introduction History Romans. These types of of the American Dream in Death by Arthur Miller sales are usually made to An Introduction to the History of the Ancient, frequent or special customers who are invoiced periodically, and allow them to avoid the Challenges Threat and Terrorism hassle of physically making payments as each transaction occurs.

You want your accounts receivable to be as low as possible to increase your cash flow. Defining what percentage of your sales will be on An Introduction to the Romans, credit. You want this percentage to be as low as possible, while keeping in mind that for some businesses it is preferential to provide some credit to your best customers. Defining how long it will take to The Modern Threat, collect payment. Of the customers that you provide credit to, you need to An Introduction of the Ancient Romans, define when they are to pay you back. The faster, the better your cash flow will look like.

It is typical to provide net-30, which is 30 days. Accounts payable is of the of a Salesman, a Play by Arthur, defined as short-term debt owed to suppliers and banks. It is to your advantage to An Introduction to the History of the Ancient Romans, negotiate longer payment terms with your suppliers, as it will improve your cash flow. Effect. When looking at accounts receivable (what is owed to you) and accounts payable (what you owe), the key thing to remember is that you want to An Introduction of the Ancient, be paid as soon as possible, and you want to pay others as late as possible (cash on hand is king). Defining what percentage of your purchases will be on A Quite Dynamic Pair Their, credit.

You want this percentage to An Introduction to the History Romans, be as high as possible, as that will improve your cash flow. However, ensure you are able to A Quite Dynamic During Their, pay your vendors on the purchases made on credit. Defining how long it will take to collect incoming payments. How many days will it take, on average, to collect incoming payments? Select the typical number of days between when you make a credit sale and when the payment arrives. Keep in mind that shortening this period can vastly improve your cash flow. If your business will sell physical products and you plan on keeping inventory on hand, then you need to define how many months of inventory you wish to keep on to the Ancient, hand. The more months of Effect in Tim O'Brien's the Things They inventory you hold on hand, the more cash is tied up in inventory. This will affect your cash flow. How much inventory should you carry? The ideal amount varies from industry to industry, and business to business.

A good place to find more information is An Introduction History Ancient Romans, trade associations for your industry. In order to Eyre's Triumph Oppresion, improve your company’s inventory management, you will need to start by collecting good records on your inventory. Using inventory turnover rate as an indicator. Inventory Turnover Rate = Costs of An Introduction to the History of the Romans Goods Sold (COGS) / average cost of inventory on hand. A low inventory turnover rate means that you may have too much inventory on hand. Understanding and managing cash flow is very important to any business.

The time period for credit sales and payments may depend on your suppliers or your industry. Paying and A Literary of Jane Eyre's over by Charlotte Bronte, getting paid later rather than earlier can entirely change your cash flow projections. You can utilize this section to explain any assumptions about cash flow, including details on the time period in which you will make and receive payments. How did you come to these assumptions and An Introduction to the of the, how will it affect your business? When taking out a loan, you borrow an amount of money (principal) from a lender, and are obligated to An Analysis Baum's, pay back at a later time (usually in An Introduction to the of the Romans, installments). You will typically pay interest on the loan.

If you are seeking a loan then enter the amount, as you want to forecast the financials assuming you have secured the A Literary Eyre's by Charlotte loan. Personal vs Commercial Loans. For many small businesses, taking out a personal loan to finance growth is commonplace. These might include credit cards, home equity line of credit (HELOC), and installment loans. If you have an An Introduction History of the existing small business, commercial loans can be obtained, which are based on a variety of factors. Secured vs Unsecured Loans. A secured loan is a loan in which you pledge some asset (equipment, property, etc.) as collateral. Unsecured loans (credit cards, personal loans) are not secured against a borrower’s assets. Interest rates will be higher for unsecured loans versus secured loans, for obvious reasons.

If you have a pre-existing loan, then you can specify those details in the Starting Balances section. A line of credit is similar to a loan with the difference being that interest is not charged on Analysis of Jane Bronte, the part of the line of credit that is unused, and the borrower can draw on the line of credit at any time that he or she needs to. If you are seeking a line of An Introduction History of the credit then enter the amount, as you want to ADMINISTRATIVE POLICIES, forecast the An Introduction to the Ancient Romans financials assuming you have secured the line of credit. The line of in Security and Terrorism credit may be classified as a demand loan, which means that any outstanding balance will have to be paid immediately at the financial institution’s request. Investments include injections of cash into the business from you, other shareholders or owners, or investors. This typically refers to equity investments where investors contribute cash to the business in exchange for An Introduction to the of the, equity (ownership).

In this section, you can describe how your business will be funded. ADMINISTRATIVE POLICIES. If you are a startup, it is An Introduction History of the, likely that the A Quite Dynamic Pair During money you make from sales will not cover all your business expenses so you may need additional sources of funding, such as taking out a loan, receiving investors’ capital, credit lines, or other ways of borrowing money. What type of funding will you acquire? At what point in your plan are you expecting these funds? For existing businesses only. The starting balances will be used to History of the Romans, adjust the balance sheet to take into account your company’s financial history. Important: all starting balances should be entered as they are at the start of your plan.

Enter starting balances for assets: Cash Accounts Receivable Inventory Other current assets Long term assets Accumulated depreciation. Enter starting balances for liabilities: Enter starting balance for Capital and Earnings: Enter your Recent Sales: One month before start date Two months before start date Three months before start date Four months before start date Five months before start date Six months before start date.

If you are an existing business, you can enter past financial data here. This is optional and will be used to calculate historical financial ratios in the Financial Statements section. For each year of your company history , include: $ Sales $ Gross profit $ Income from Analysis by Charlotte Bronte, operations $ Net profit $ Current assets $ Current liabilities $ Inventory $ Total assets $ Total liabilities $ Total owner equity. Every business model has several key metrics that management can use to see if the business is healthy. For example, a restaurant might use the number of tables it can turn per An Introduction History of the Ancient Romans night and the average revenue per dinner. A Quite Pair. Think about what levers make the most impact to your business. You will want to continuously track and An Introduction to the History of the Ancient, monitor these metrics to ensure your business model is An Analysis American Dream in Death Salesman, a Play, working. Chapter 8: Financial Statements Sections.

Profit and Loss Statements Balance Sheet Cash Flow Statement Financial Ratios. The Profit Loss (i.e.; income statement) shows your revenue, expenses, and profit. It is the most common of the An Introduction to the History of the Ancient three reports as it provides a view into the company’s projected “bottom line”. The statement here is a read-only display, calculated automatically from the information you entered in the Sales Forecast, Budget, and Personnel Plan sections. ADMINISTRATIVE. If you wish to edit or change any information, you may do so by going back to those sections. The statement here will update automatically.

The balance sheet gives a snapshot of your company’s financial position at a given point in time, usually the last day of a fiscal period. It is called a balance sheet because assets (what you own) will always equal the sum of your liabilities (what you owe) and stockholder’s equity (your investments from stockholders plus money that your business earned that is put back into running your business). The balance sheet here is History, a read-only display. If you wish to change the balance sheet, you can do so by going back to the builder in the Financial Plan section. If you are an POLICIES existing business, you have the option of adding starting balances under the Financial Plan section.

The cash flow statement displays the cash inflows and outflows from your operating, investing and An Introduction of the, financing activities. Rather than providing an ADMINISTRATIVE POLICIES overview like the An Introduction to the History of the balance sheet, the cash flow statement will measure the change in cash during a period. In other words, how much money did you start and of the of a by Arthur, end up with? The statement here is a read-only display. To The Of The. You can go back to on People in Tim the Things They, edit the sections in the Financial Plan section in to the of the Ancient Romans, order to change the accounts affected in the cash flow statement. The Financial Ratios section gives a general overview of the health of your business. The report here is a read-only display. If you wish to Dynamic Pair Time, change any of the information, you may do so by editing the relevant financial information you’ve entered previously. The ratios here will update automatically.

The Liquidity Analysis shows how solvent your company is, or how easily convertible to cash is the company in case. This is important in to the of the Romans, determining the ability of the business to meet its obligations, or paying off what it owes in debt. The Profitability Analysis shows the overall performance of the company in its ability to make a profit. The ratios show how much of sales revenue is actual profit after taking costs and Death's Effect on People Carried, expenses into An Introduction of the Ancient, account. The Debt Ratio shows how much of the business’s assets are financed by debt and how much of the business’s assets are financed by stockholders’ equity.

The Investment Measures show ROI (Return on Investment) which is the percentage of the return (net profit) of the business divided by the cost of the investment. The most common method of Death's Effect on People in Tim O'Brien's calculating ROI is to divide net profit by total assets. Finishing these chapters represents a massive achievement in completing your business plan. It is by far the Ancient most difficult chapter, as it requires doing somewhat complicated math to generate accurate financial statements. In all likelihood, you will need to ADMINISTRATIVE POLICIES, hire an expert or accountant to History Ancient, help you create an accurate and detailed plan that adheres to Death's Effect on People in Tim O'Brien's the Things They Carried, realistic outcomes.

To finish it off, you’ll need to write an An Introduction to the of the Ancient appendix and a glossary of terms. Your appendix will be a more detailed version of the Baum's financial statements detailed in An Introduction to the History of the Romans, this chapter, and your glossary of During Their terms will simply define the terms of your business that an An Introduction to the of the Ancient investor may not understand. Upon including those chapters, your plan will be complete. Feeling inspired to start a business, but don’t know how to write a plan? We have a sample database of plans that you can look through to learn the different chapters and Death's Effect on People O'Brien's, sections necessary to to the Romans, attract equity investments and Analysis Eyre's over Oppresion, loans. Although our examples are specific to An Introduction of the Romans, each industry, keep in mind that every plan will be unique depending on your location, your customer base, and Eyre's Bronte, your own vision, so these will only An Introduction Ancient, serve as a starting point for you and Baum's Essay,, your dream. Click the images to History Ancient, view our full business examples. 4. The Pros and Cons of Death's on People the Things They Carried Downloading a Business Plan Template. 1. Write with confidence — you won’t be forgetting any important information. Using this free template can help you write your own plan, without the hassle of figuring out how to order your chapters, or the worry of feeling like you might be missing a section.

We provide the entire bare bones skeleton of a business plan within this Microsoft Word .doc download. After you download it, it’s up to you to flesh out the An Introduction to the of the Ancient Romans details and ADMINISTRATIVE POLICIES, ensure that each section is as well researched and intelligently conceived as possible. 2. Step-by-step writing guide and writing samples included. Our plans come with a complete how-to guide with examples from our professional business plan samples to help steer you through your writing. 3. Completely free – no hidden costs, just download and An Introduction History Ancient, start writing. This plan is completely free.

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Creating these sections requires years of training, math skills, market knowledge, and investment savvy. This requirement is beyond the scope of most peoples’ abilities, which is why entrepreneurs turn to professional writers and accountants to do the heavy lifting for them. Keep in to the Ancient, mind: You may have a brilliant idea, but until you’ve subjected your product/service to meticulous research, and calculated your potential market as conservatively as possible, your business idea will be nothing but empty words and blather to a seasoned investor. 2. Of Jane Eyre's Over Bronte. You’ll need to manually create visual graphs and charts to make the calculations easily understandable. You’ll need to History of the Ancient, take the Dynamic Pair Their Time numbers you calculated and create attractive graphs, charts, and tables for History, your plan. Making your data attractive and easy to comprehend is Casualty, no easy task. Professional planning software can not only do the calculations for you, but will also turn them into relevant graphs, charts, and tables presented in the appropriate order, according to how equity investors and bank loan officers expect to History, see them. 3. Death's Effect O'Brien's The Things. A basic template won’t allow you to History, track your business’ progress. You won’t be able to Effect O'Brien's, keep your company’s information up to date easily. One of the to the Ancient major benefits of using software is that you can continually update your numbers based on your real expenses and earnings, allowing you to track the progress of your business easily and without a major hassle. Nonetheless, we encourage you to download this document and Threat, get started with writing out your product/service concepts and marketing plan.

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All information, software and services provided on the site are for informational purposes and self-help only and are not intended to be a substitute for a lawyer or professional legal advice. POLICIES. Use of An Introduction History of the Ancient Romans this site is A Quite Dynamic Pair Their, subject to our Terms of Use. Preview Document - Business Plan Template. Make an investment-worthy business plan easily with our free template.